Miss Snarks’ Best Snarks of the Week

Wherein my favorite lit agent in the world (other than mine of course) answers the questions of those brave enough to post them to her:
Should I tell agents about my good but unfinished, unpublished novels?
“Do you have any advice or suggestions for the biography-impaired new author?”
The agency I want to pitch my novel to reserves the right to sit on my manuscript for a half a year but doesn’t deal with simultaneous submissions. Is this b.s. or am I just being sensitive? (More on this here.)
Somebody advised me that I should self-publish because agents reach for books instead of manuscripts in the slush pile. This sounded nitwitty. Am I right?
And finally, if you want Miss Snark to represent you, you better damn well not mention any of the following in your query.

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