Who really wants to get published anyway? That is for losers. Romancing the Blog has some great tips on how to get rejected:

"Get really creative. That means not wasting your time on minutiae such as the actual name of the agent or editor; for a salutation, Dear followed by a generic noun (Agent, Editor) is more than adequate. And even if you slip up and include a person's name, do something to make clear the fact that you don't know anything about them; in other words, use Ms. or Mr. indiscriminately. Nor should you get right to the point of what your book is about: it's much better to spend a paragraph or two reminding the agent of something she already knows-to wit, that it's damn hard to get published. For that matter, perhaps perfume your query with an unusual odor, say that of marijuana or other illegal substance (true story! We promise!)"