Today I chat with the author of the author of The Areas of My Expertise, the organizer of the Little Gray Book Lecture series and the former professional literary agent of the eponymous series on McSweeney's. He does more, but I can only type so much on a Friday.

What advice would you give someone who was thinking about setting up a reading series?
I would first ask them if they have alternately considered finding a large room with high ceilings and then staging miniature, remote control war-zeppelin battles in it? Or else: rope climbing competitions? Or else: just having people by to show off the large room with high ceilings? For all of these things would likely be more profitable, financially personally, than encouraging people to listen while another person reads aloud from their novel.

But if one is compelled to start a reading series, there is nothing that can stop one, and I should know.

I wanted to do the Little Gray Book Lectures because I wanted to edit a magazine and I was too lazy to print and distribute anything, and I wanted to drink while doing it.

So when it has been successful, the Lectures have emulated what I think make for a good magazine....

-a strong editorial voice, which when I am not overly bourboned would be me, talkin';

-a strong editorial mission, which in this case would be to instruct (How To Win a Fight, What Will Happen in the Future, How to Measure Misunderstood Genius), however absurdly;

-a sense of continuity between each evening "issue," as it were (although now that I type those words, "evening 'issue'", they seem very dirty), which in in our case would amount to return visits from regular contributors, annual spelling bees and auctions that promote ongoing spelling/auctioning rivalries from year to year; and Jonathan Coulton's monthly song.

-Jonathan Coulton
-a mix of different kinds of stories (um, here are the kinds: sad or funny, false or true, with illustrative slides or without) each evening.

-most obviously: the good fortune to know a large number of really talented storytellers. (Note I say storytellers, and not professional writers. The former skill is more important than the latter in this context, and strange, beautiful things happen when you, for example, have a law professor by to discuss the 50 square miles of Idaho that he's discovered where no law is enforceable).

I can really take no credit for the talent of the contributors, but I can take credit for the following rule...

-never allow anyone to read for more than 12 minutes.

I would also not underestimate the benefit of
-animal acts

-powerpoint presentations

-alcohol

-a pleasant large room with high ceilings

-remote control war-zeppelin battles

What advice would you give someone participating in a reading? How can you make yourself more appealing as a reader?
See above regarding 12 minutes. I suppose you could go on longer than that if you are the only reader, or one of two. But there are, in my experience, comparatively few people in the world who really really want to sit quietly in a room listening to someone read aloud from a book for any period.

However, there are many more people who are dying to go to a nice place and hear someone tell an interesting story in an engaging, authoritative way. And they are generally willing to do this for about 20 minutes at a stretch. But if you give them only 12, they will love you.

As far as at-the-lectern advice goes: slow down and calm down. Rehearse, time yourself, and take a moment before reading to remind yourself to breathe or drink, whichever is your preference.

As a former literary agent, do you have any words of wisdom for bloggers who are suddenly being circled by agents?
Two nights ago I was lucky enough to be asked to join Todd Pruzan and Sean Wilsey at a reading at McNally Robinson. It went fine. Afterward, a very nice and talented young woman whose work I had read years before when I was working as an assistant literary agent approached me. She was still looking for an agent, and she was still asking me for advice. This experience underlined two sad things--one, that while I have not worked in book publishing proper for half a decade, the desire for understanding that arcane industry is still so strong that people actually turn to me for advice on it. And two, that it is still very very hard to find an agent and champion for your work.

My advice to her: tell the best story you have, in the best way you know how, and be willing to tell it better. And keep trying to get readers--on the internet, in journals, among your friends, and among whatever muckamucks you think may help you. Pay that karma back by doing lots of reading of same, and never fail to compliment those whose work you like. And never give up. I don't think she needed the second part of the advice; and I don't doubt the first part sounded pretty hollow to her after five years of trying, trying, trying. But what am I to say? Short of gaming the system by working for seven years at a literary agency, thus automatically granting you stunning success, that is the only system I've ever seen work.

So my advice to bloggers who are being circled by agents: do not complain.

What turned out to be the most difficult part of writing/publishing The Areas of My Expertise?
Without question the 700 hobo names. It seemed such a breezy gag, I thought it would take me the afternoon. It took me about two weeks of full time work: hour after hour, day after day, coming up with hobo names. By 450 or so I felt like a hobo: dreadfully alone, perhaps insane, on a long road that probably has no meaning to anyone else, and the end of which brings no joy at all. But you know, at the end of it I felt pretty good, and the other night I got to read 101 hobo names to the kind folks at the McNally Robinson bookstore (only 101--remember: 12 minutes!), and afterward I was pitied and feared, and people still wanted my advice. So I guess you could say it was worth it.

What is your hobo name? And did any presidents have hooks for hands?
Technically, that is two questions, but here are the answers. 1. John Kellogg Hodgman. 2. Yes. There were nine US presidents who had hooks for hands. To find out which ones, you will have to buy my book, or just look for the hook. In fact, that is, as of this moment, the motto of my book: BUY MY BOOK, OR LOOK FOR THE HOOK! (Please note that the rumor that Dick Cheney has a hook for a hand is NOT TRUE; in fact, he has a pegleg for a heart).

That is all, except to say: thank you.

Now that is all.