What actually goes on in media sales? For this recurring feature, mediabistro's gotten ahold of an insider, someone who does it all-from kissing the right asses, to laughing at clients' stupidest jokes-ready to spill the beans on his pursuit of that all-consuming commission and quarterly bonus. The sick thing? He'll tell you himself: He loves it...

Nice Sale I just hung up the phone with Big Imaging Company and negotiated a deal that still has me grinning well into the fourth Excel tab of our company's absurd boilerplate insertion order. Jim has some ambitious plans for 3Q, and as #1 Industry Mag, we have a lot to sell. As part of a multinational publishing company, we are obligated to "straddle media" and "deliver the gateway." What that means is that nobody's buying print advertising anymore, so you have to work three times as hard selling banner ads, custom publications, Webcasts, and face-to-face marketing opportunities just to make the same amount of money you'd otherwise be raking in with print.

Jim, my contact, has just agreed to spend a dollar amount equivalent to 20 percent of our annual display advertising budget to push a special marketing initiative. And even though our rates are just a premium-positioning charge compared to the national consumer press, I shudder with glee as I tab in an extra zero on the order's net sales field. Naturally, my first instinct is to compose a self-congratulatory "send all" email outlining my monster sale.

I decide against it. The sale I just made will serve to double the work of the heinously underpaid custom media department which, unlike me, will never see a nickel of the sale I just closed. Instead, I write a 1,200-word "we-mail" outlining all the work they need to do for the program, and close my door to call Jan.

More dirt here.