The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

It’s Friday. Kick back and enjoy the worst analogies ever written in a high school essay. Is that grammatically correct? Who knows.

MEDIABISTRO EVENTS

Launch a Successful Social Media Campaign

Join Baratunde Thurston (left), The Onion’s Director of Digital and author of How to Be Black, for an entertaining look at creative social media campaigns in our Social Media Marketing Boot Camp starting this Thursday, February 16. Other speakers include Morin Oluwole (Facebook), Michael Brito (Edelman Digital), and Tim Devane (bitly). Register now.