The Zoo*: Week Seventeen
Today is the seventeenth in a series of posts by San-Diego-based writer Thomas Shess who has decided to keep a journal on his journey to find a publisher for his novel.
Red Letter Day. Meeting with book doctor Mike Sirota of San Diego became a watershed day in my ongoing search to land a literary agent or a publisher for my new novel. Sirota () took no prisoners. We spent four hours-one-on-one-pointing out the good, bad and ugly segments of my 80,000 word mss. As I expected, he was a pro mechanic, who methodically took apart the engine of my novel uncovering the parts that didn’t work. Early on, he apologized for what he warned was going to be tough going.
In my mind, I expected the worst. I figured he’d ask me to save the radiator cap on my work and slide an entire new car under it. If I had a turkey it was about to arrive a month early for Thanksgiving.
The Good. Mike Sirota opened by answering one of my questions I had jotted on my opening page. What genre is it? “You have a thriller,” he said, “with a possibility of a sub-category of literary thriller.” Next, he presented the bottom line of his analysis. “You have lots of work ahead of you, but I encourage you to stay with it-make the fixes because you have a story worth telling.”
A veteran book editor with many published clients liked my basic story. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to hear him utter those words. The story needs tuning but it works. He also liked the setting of the book. “I know San Francisco and you did a good job, especially in capturing the feel of the North Beach neighborhood.”
Mike felt my characters had their own voice. “I could probably pick up a line of unattributed dialogue and tell you who said it.” He said several scenes were “poignant” and he stopped the analysis to give me a round of applause for one particular scene. He liked the tone of the novel and said the last two-thirds moves along very well. Also, he complimented me on a professionally written sex scene.
“Often new writers have a devil of a time with intimate scenes. It was well done, original and not awkward for the reader and it worked in context with the plot and the characterizations.” Another plus was my opening chapter. It set the scene and moved the reader into the story. He added the denouement works fine and the story can end a lot sooner and even gain more impact. I’m to focus on telling the story sooner.
The Bad. The main character’s introduction appears far too late in the novel. By the first 40 pages, the reader does not know whom from a litany of characters are the main protagonists. After a great opening, the follow-up needed to be immediate. The first third of the book needs the most work. Oddly, the opening chapters were the focus of 99 percent of my attention. The last part of the book has been relatively unchanged in the past few years. Wow, what does that say? I reworked a lot of stuff for nothing. I will spare you listing all the flaws because they were numerous. Mike Sirota doesn’t miss a thing. He noticed I called a minor character by a different name and spent the next five minutes bashing my sloppiness. Mea culpa. But, what gave me hope and true exhilaration was the fact everything he beat me up on could be deleted. My plot survived Hurricane Mike if only you don’t tally my broken windows (presentation).
The Ugly. My dilemma was handing Mike Sirota a work that had not been copy edited. My feeling was why overwork something that might get hacked and slashed. I was wrong. Mike’s feedback on the inner workings of the novel was so accurate that I felt I took away from my time with him by forcing him to comment on all the grammar flaws and the poor presentation. “I feel compelled to give you input on the copy aspects, but after a while I gave up because you didn’t hire me to be a copy editor,” he said.
I explained I was more interested in learning so many basic elements of my novel that I knew I could fix the grammar. I know copyediting but I don’t have a command of fiction writing. He didn’t buy my excuse. He politely and firmly lectured me that I must always present my work in the best possible shape. “Consider yourself lucky if an agent/publisher reads the first sentence of your synopsis or mss. If they like what they see in line one they will read the first paragraph. If they still are interested they will read the first page and actually may look at page two.” Lesson learned.
Was it worth it? Absolutely. Yes, I could have gained all the wisdom Mike presented in a writers group. Yes, I could have read a lot of quality books and learned my lessons. But, we’re human beings. Wisdom arrives in different ways. I walked away from Mike’s office feeling he earned every cent and probably a lot more. I am rewriting my mss. with new zeal. What I used to think was terrific and clever is now gone and replaced with writing that advances the plot. What happened to my cute prolog, thundering epilog and coffee-house creative chapter headings like “Sheet Music and Stray Cat?” Dismissed immediately! They went into Mike Sirota’s trash bin with the same ceremony as a soiled diaper.
Next week. I will share with you what a top book editor thought of my synopsis. Was it the best or worst he has ever read?
* Because it’s a jungle out there.
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