Carpentry fantasies are good and well, but let's be honest-if he had a hammer, Secret Sales Guy would probably use it to pound out another commission:

You want to know how we sales folks really, truly feel? You want a peek inside the media sales cage? Better read the sign before the curtain draws open, so at least you'll know what to expect:

1) Do not feed the Media Sales Guy-he has already eaten a hearty lunch with one of his many clients.

2) The material on the floor of the cage is editorial, or filler. That's what goes in between the ads we sell.

3) The production department exists to give us deadlines, so we can sell more ads in the magazine. We can get them fired, but not the other way around.

4) Beware of the Publisher. He is not your friend-he is just another salesperson, but with more "side duties."

5) Do not respond if the salesman approaches you with offers of "remnant space." That is just a way of selling you a cheap ad without shame.

Read the rest of the rant here.