Category: Watercooler

Need a little writing prompt? I just learned about this site, Six Sentences. It's pretty self-explanatory: can you tell a story in six sentences? Hey, it's less time-consuming than NaNoWriMo.

Our anonymous salesman takes a look back on the life of a dyed-in-the-wool sales guy who put family above financial gain:

Recently, my wife's grandfather passed away. He was a great man, and a true gentleman in every sense of the word. As the patriarch of a large Italian family, Santo fathered five children, had nine grandchildren, and a few dozen great-grandchildren. They were all at my mother-in-law Vera's* house after the funeral, eating trays of mediocre eggplant parmiagiana (a sad reminder of how good his wife Vera's legendary cooking was) and trying not to cry. At 88 years old, Santo* lived a great life. "What a run," everyone was saying, and it was true. The 30-odd family members gathered at the house -- a veritable football team of direct descendants and in-laws were Santo's living legacy. I kept thinking how amazing it was that he had created this.

Santo was a salesman, by the way. He owned his own sewing machine company, and he sold industrial sewing equipment to the factories in New York. He always referred to them as "machines." He would be telling a story about some guy he knew back in the 60's, and I would ask him how he knew the guy. "I used to sell him machines," he would say. Somehow, that explained everything.

More here.

I found out about this from a post on Freelance Success:

Excerpts from a Craig's List job listing:

Wanted: Good writers who are knowledgeable about and interested in automobiles and auto parts for large web content project. The right authors can earn a considerable paycheck for this project, over a significant period of time.

A typical weekly assignment for this project will be writing around 100 articles of 250-300 words apiece. For a typical weekly batch, the total compensation is between $275 and $550, depending on the quality of the material and the reliability of the writer. Some writers are able to do more than one batch; our most productive writer works at this job about 3/4 time and does 3 or 4 batches in a week.

.... There is some possibility for advancement to more challenging projects from this one, but it is not recommended that you work on this project solely in the hopes of getting a better one later. This project will be much more suited to someone who is inherently interested in and knowledgeable of the auto parts industry. If you hate cars, this is not the job for you.

A genius-type poster on the board pointed out that that adds up to about .009 to .018 cents per word. Hey honey, I don't get out of bed for less than .01 cents per word per day.

Want to get more assignments? Follow these nine tips on getting published in magazines from Linda Formacelli at the Renegade Writer. "Disclaimer: In no way did I write these tips to eliminate the competition and ensure that there-s more work for me. This is the real deal. Follow them and watch my - er, I mean your - income soar!"

#1 is my favorite: "Always put a copyright symbol on your articles and queries. Don't be afraid that you'll insult the editor - you need to protect your work and your ideas, and the copyright symbol tells editors you're no sucker."

Swat 'em away, but they'll still keep coming -- those 'pigeons' of corporations that can't stop flocking to consultants' birdseed:

Instead of barging into some agency, breaking out your media kit, and telling your customer your circulation, readership, and what special issues you have coming up, why not sit down over a cup of coffee and ask him a bunch of questions. Like: How is your business? (a Situation question); Is the price of paper leading to an increase in your costs? (Problem); Why is it important to solve this problem (Implication); and, If I lowered your rate, would this help you reach more potential customers? (Need/ payoff).

More here.

Do you do your best writing when you wear a fake mustache? Does John Philip Sousa music inspire you? Can you only really pour your heart out when you're completely hammered? Don't worry. Some of our favorite writers were completely nuts, just like you.

Writer Maureen Johnson makes me laugh with her funny take on book writing. She also makes me weep with how accurate it is.

When it comes to sticky sales scenarios, no conundrum's too convoluted for Secret Sales Guy

I am the associate publisher of small agricultural magazine that does around $3M a year in display advertising. Print sales are off, so we're looking to add more banner capabilities to our Web site and hire an online salesperson to sell them. What qualities should I look for in this employee? Also, not being well-versed in matters online myself, can you recommend training for me?

It sounds as though your company has been bitten by the "new media" bug, and is getting ready to flush a shitload of cash down the toilet in the interest of "staying competitive." As an avid reader of Pig International (and many other obscure controlled circulation trade magazines to which I subscribe just for the hell of it), I can tell you that the new media future in your farmers' market looks dim for years-if not decades-to come.

More helpful tidbits here.

Gawker picks up from Publisher's Marketplace something new in publishing: sticking your name on a book that's technically a bunch of other people's stuff. This seems to be even easier than putting together one of those anthologies, too.

Friend and former editor of mine Val McEwan is looking for some sources for a story she's working on. Maybe you can help her:

I have this theory that regardless of adult fiction interests, everyone remembers a Little Golden Book from when they were a kid. And/or everyone who has a kid will one day read said kid a Golden Book.

Be it Donald Duck, Pat the Bunny, Dora the Explorer... the Saggy Baggy Elephant...

ring any bells? remember any Golden Books (see Random House website for a memory jog. Got any Golden Books that survived your childhood?

If you have anything for Val, drop her a line.