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Food and Beverage

Reasons Why National Liquor Holidays are a Big Waste of Time

drinking from the bottleEvery day is a special day. This isn’t just a fortune cookie platitude you’ll find on a bumper sticker or Facebook meme. Today was National Poetry Day. Monday was National Coffee Day. Two weeks ago was International Talk Like A Pirate Day. On and on the list goes on.

Not to be left out, cocktails and individual spirits have their own special days as well. Which is pretty unnecessary because people are living for happy hour on the daily. But every spirit wants its own time to shine. And now maybe it’s time for everyone to go home because we’re all drunk.

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Beverage Companies Say They’ll Reduce The Number of Calories Consumed By 2025

drinking sodaCoca-Cola, PepsiCo and Dr Pepper Snapple Group have resolved to reduce the number of “beverage calories” consumers drink by 20 percent by 2025. The announcement was made during the Clinton Global Initiative, and the actions they plan to take include “selling smaller portion sizes and increasing promotion of products such as bottled water.” The size of a regular can of soda will remain 12 ounces and the calorie count will stay at 150.

“The companies jointly pledged to provide calorie counts and promote calorie awareness on the vending machines, fountain dispensers and retail coolers that they control nationwide,” reports USA TodayAnd the CEO of the American Beverage Association Susan Neeley is crowing how huge this is and how it’s going to fight obesity.

But actually this is kind of a preemptive strike, before legislators jump in with their own version of what calorie reduction and beverage taxes should look like. Also, sales of soft drinks have been declining anyway, so it’s not really such a huge sacrifice if you take a closer look.

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Step Aside, Iron Man: Marvel Revamps Captain Citrus for Florida Orange Growers

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What’s that in the sky? It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s…an orange-clad superhero bent on selling you Florida-grown citrus fruit?

That’s right, folks; taking his place in a long line of Marvel superhero legends like Iron Man, Captain America and The X-Men, is Captain Citrus, a collaborative marketing creation intended to help Florida’s citrus growers boost sales.

The original Captain Citrus, a long-outdated mascot for Florida’s orange growers, was more or less an orange wearing a cape. In an effort to bring the spokes-superhero up to date (and borrow some of Marvel’s lately-booming thunder in hopes of offsetting declining demand for products like orange juice) Florida’s orange growers commissioned the famous comic company to redesign the Captain, complete with rippling abs, his own digital comic, and even an animated trailer. Read more

APOCALYPSE WATCH: Krispy Kreme Sells a 2,400-Doughnut Box

krispy kreme

No, those aren’t Cheerios.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your arteries.

America has never been more aware of its weight problems than it is right now. The CDC tells us that obesity has more than doubled among children and quadrupled among adolescents in the past 30 years. The dieting industry is a billion-dollar business.

In the other corner, Krispy Kreme proudly says, “Screw that PR. We like a nation with curves. Lots of them!

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Yum Brands’ New Concept Changes Logo Because Texans Hate Communism

Banh-Shop-in-Dallas

Ever heard of Banh Shop? If North Texas had its way, you wouldn’t have had the opportunity.

Banh is the shiny new toy of Yum Brands, owner of KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell. In the opinion of the powers-that-be at Yum, the bánh mì sandwich is the next new sub sammich, burrito, or fish taco. In case you aren’t familiar, we’re talking Vietnamese-style sandwiches made of meat or tofu baguettes with various accoutrements.

There’s only one problem: they’re all cooked by Commies!

Look at the picture and see if you can tell why this place freaked North Texans out.

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San Francisco Pizza Place Begs for Your Hate on Yelp

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“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

That’s what the cool (octogenarian) kids say all the time. However, when it comes to social media, that could mean selling your soul to the highest bidder. You need to be savvy on social networks. You need to have a plan and a backbone so you can be true to who you are without caving into “Troll Nation.”

Such is the case for Yelp, which seems to face fake review lawsuits every other month. This story may sound fake, but it’s completely true — a San Francisco pizza eatery wants people to hate them on Yelp with one-star reviews so they can be removed from the website completely.

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Burger King Japan Brings Back the Strangely Popular Black Burger

BN-EM432_bkingj_D_20140911023522Well, if Dr. Seuss taught us anything, it’s that strangely-colored food just tastes better (and can be eaten on a on a train, in the rain, in a boat, with a goat…).

But it isn’t green eggs and ham that have won the hearts of Burger King Japan‘s customers — it’s a black burger, complete with black bun, black cheese and black sauce. And while we, personally, may think the sandwich more closely resembles industrial waste than a viable lunch option, we are in the minority.

The black burgers, now called The Kuro Pearl burger and Kuro Diamond burger (“kuro” meaning black), were first introduced for a limited time in 2012. They became so popular that they outsold all other new products the company offered that year. Due to high demand, the burgers were temporarily brought back again in 2013. Now, the burger chain is hoping for an equally-warm welcome the third time around. Read more

Lesean McCoy Holds a Press Conference to Deny Being a Bad Tipper

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Lesean McCoy is a very talented running back for the Philadelphia Eagles. He is also a complete tool.

How so? McCoy is in the middle of a six-year, $45.615 million contract, so it’s easy to think the dude can spare a dime every now and again. So, there he is, shoving a cheeseburger down his gullet at local fave PYT Burger. (I’ve been…it’s legit!) He receives his bill of $61.56 and doesn’t forget about the person that served him.

And that’s when he drops 20 friggin’ cents! The outrage went viral, the restaurant manager blasted McCoy, and Captain Tiger Blood Charlie Sheen stepped in to make everything right.

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Banning Ketchup: Chef Knows Best or Bad Foodie PR?

keep-calm-and-hate-ketchupIt was just another day at Mad Fresh Bistro in Fort Myers, Fla., when a nine-year-old kid decided to ask for ketchup on a burger. Suddenly, skillets went flying out of the kitchen — along with an impressive array of expletives.

You may ask: why all this hullabaloo over ketchup (aka catsup, ketsup, catchup, or however the hell they are spelling it these days)?

For some inexplicable reason, this story about a chef refusing to offer the fruit/vegetable to kids has sparked a national debate over the number two condiment in America. And Chef Owner Xavier Duclos is just fine with that because press.

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What Will Starbucks ‘Express’ Stores Mean for the Brand’s Culture?

I24905278_BG1f you’re addicted to your morning cup of Starbucks but are sick of waiting in long lines of giggling tweens ordering ten-word-long beverages before homeroom, the cafe chain has some good news for you.

In an effort to cater to busy commuters, the company plans to launch smaller, express-style stores with reduced menu items, mobile ordering, and digital payment systems, all with the aim of getting you on your way faster. This move comes as the coffee chain looks to further strengthen its already-successful drive-through stores, which make up about 40% of its US locations and already have a higher sales growth than its stores without drive-through windows.

Starbucks also plans to open at least 100 new stores in the next five years dedicated solely to its Starbucks Reserve small-batch arabica coffee line.

But if you don’t have to wade through a sea of aspiring novelists typing furiously on their iPads or listen to the Dr. Seuss-esque tongue twisters that are the epitome of drink orders, then are you really part of the Starbucks culture?

Well, in a word, yes; you’re just part of the other Starbucks culture. Read more

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