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Crisis Alert: Axe Body Spray Sends 8 Teens to the Hospital

0320-axe_full_600Axe has always sold its body odor cover-ups on the dubious premise that their rank industrial odor somehow doubles as Kryptonite for teenage girls. A recent incident in Brooklyn shows us that’s not quite the case: a couple of days ago eight sixth-grade students went to the hospital after some joker sprayed the hell out of a classroom with the “noxious” toxin.

And there was much vomiting.

After EMS took the kids to get treated (and two were taken to the doctor by their parents), the Department of Education confirmed that the Axe was responsible, and in an official statement school officials said that someone is going to be in soooooo much trouble tomorrow!

The perpetrator remains anonymous, but we’d like to think his response will come in the form of a t-shirt:

Radical-Dude-Text-Front-Bart-Simpson-Radical-Dude-Don-T-Have-A-Cow-Man

This is hardly an isolated incident: yesterday Gawker reminded us that a couple of schools in different states have suffered similar fragrance disasters, and one even banned the stuff altogether.

There’s been no crisis comms response from Axe so far, presumably because its communications team is too busy playing foosball and reading Maxim while taking hits from the beer bong. The company probably won’t undergo any sort of rebranding project, but if it does we have a suggestion for a new tagline:

“Axe Body Spray: She Says ‘Ewww’, But She Means ‘Oooooh.’”

Wink wink.

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