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Breaking: Disney To Acquire Lucasfilm, ‘Star Wars’

Today in Been There, Done That Media News: Walt Disney Co., fresh off its efforts to turn the once-stellar Pixar into a mediocre sequel factory, has announced plans to acquire Lucasfilm Ltd. for a cool $4 billion, thereby taking ownership of the series that defined the childhood of every American born between…oh, who are we kidding? Every kid around the world loves the (original) “Star Wars” trilogy. We’ll just avoid mentioning episodes 1 through 3 (along with certain parts of “Return of the Jedi”), because we’d rather not get our blood pressure up this late in the afternoon.

Anyway: Get ready for more “Star Wars” rides at DisneyWorld!

The worst part of this announcement? ”Star Wars Episode 7 is targeted for release in 2015, with more feature films expected to continue the Star Wars saga and grow the franchise well into the future”–and George Lucas will serve as “creative consultant” on this monster of a vanity project.

Serious question: Did anyone anywhere in the world ask for another “Star Wars” movie? Or is George Lucas just making one last attempt to revive the embarrassing husk of what was once a promising career?

We leave you with the only appropriate response to this announcement:

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