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Food Network’s Nigella Lawson Sniffs More Than Her Cooking

Nigella ChokedI abhor celebrity news. Sure, they are the beautiful people. But who cares what they think anymore than what other folk think? That said, I do love the Food Network. It’s late-night porn for me. We’re talking fantasizing about being on ‘Chopped.’

That said, have you been watching what is going on with the Food Network’s Nigella Lawson. In short, she is in the middle of a divorce stickier than some hot cross buns she throws down in the oven. You see, the vivacious Brit is married to a real douchenozzle named Charles Saatchi. I don’t need to know the guy. I just need to see this picture.

That’s Charles choking the spit out of Nigella. Chivalry still exists for TV chefs, Holmes. Keep classy, Saatchi.

Nigella Shut UpAlthough she has claimed to the press being victimized by “intimate terrorism” and enduring a “long summer of bullying and abuse,” as noted by the BBC, she had to admit something else today in court: drug use, specifically, a not-so-cute white pony, if you know what I mean.

“I was having a very, very difficult time; I felt subjugated to intimate terrorism by Mr Saatchi,” she said. Lawson also admitted smoking cannabis, but said she has now given up. At times, she had smoked the drug in front of her children, she told the court.

Of course, the Food Network hasn’t uttered a word. Just like they did with Paula Deen reminiscing her days on the plantation during the Reconstruction Era and Robert Irvine pulling a high-school trick and lying on his ass off on his resume — the one he gave to said network.

Will they talk? No reason why they would because “it’s personal.” Should they talk? If ethics, you know. So, who is having a worse PR day: Lawson or her employer? Who knows. I’ll leave that to TMZ.

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