In a moment of clarity crucial to our nation’s past, present and future, a spokesperson for Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel (you know, Ari Gold’s brother) stated that the former representative and White House Chief of Staff does not, in fact, enjoy the musical stylings of Canadian pomp rock kings Nickelback–despite nasty rumors to the contrary.

A tenth-grade math teacher protesting Emanuel’s current standoff with Chicago-area teachers got a little creative with his signage this week by outing Rahm as a secret Nickelback fan, but the mayor’s spokeswoman Tarrah Cooper responded to area blog RedEye’s request for clarification with a single word: “No.”

We’ve yet to receive word on whether Mr. Emanuel sees Avril Lavigne as a real 1977-style punk or a manufactured teeny-pop poser.

UPDATE: The national debate has officially returned, as all semi-coherent conversations eventually must, to the late 90’s. The teacher responsible for the sign in question has now changed his message to accuse Emanuel of liking the world’s second least favorite band, Creed.