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Scratch-and-Sniff Internet Is Here. Interested?

oPhone

Technology gets nice PR, but this may take it too far.

Meet the oPhone: the iPhone’s drunk crackhead cousin.

The technology is designed to provide an olfactory sense to the Internet, but is this something you really want? It is for Harvard professor and researcher David Edwards, whose cracked team of students developed a technology that will allow scents to be passed through a text message, phone call, or social media via a Bluetooth-capable smartphone, tablet, or computer.

Food Network, please pick up the white courtesy phone…

“The oPhone is in development. It will be available for use notably in Cambridge, Massachusetts, from July and commercially from later this year,” Edwards told FoxNews.com via email from France.

Edwards’ inspiration is that people tend to bond over smells.

You know, walking past a pastry bringing up good times. Traipsing through a state fair leads to the funnel cakes like the Pied Piper. However, Edwards is also thinking that Smell-O’-Net is going to help the sick. For example, people who are suffering from Alzheimer’s disease by triggering memories associated with certain scents.

“It may have beneficial effects with respect to memory, stress relief, weight control, among other conditions,” he said. “You should imagine the oPhone will be around the price of a phone, and oChips priced low enough to encourage the same frequency of use as M&Ms for an M&M lover.”

Yes, that sounds great, but what about the practical usage? A bunch of guys watching a football game. Those guys work up quite a lather on the gridiron. Huff, huff, pass? No thanks. Or, take those same group of guys watching … porn on the oPhone.

There are no words for that oFace. Just gross!

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