Ah, yes. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
That is, until it’s time to pay those damn bills. Then, you begin to consider actually moving to the North Pole because you can get some cheap real estate up there. Why? You are about to be evicted when the IRS comes knocking. (Gotta love those audits.)
Anywho, every year around this time, PNC Wealth Management gets their 15 seconds of fame. It’s well deserved because these are the capricious and inventive folk who post the annual Christmas Price Index, otherwise known as the “Real Cost of the 12 Days of Christmas.” And yes, it went up … again.
Admittedly, I’m a sucker for this year-end ballyhooed list. I know the price is going up but why? For instance, from 2012 to now, the price went up 6.9 percent. The estimated cost for the “12 Days of Christmas” would be $114,651.18 (as the *”true cost” or $27,393 for the “core cost”, whatever the Blue Christmas that means).
Where’s the #PRFail sounder for this list? Everything costs more these days.
Those four calling birds? Up 15.4 percent from last year. For birds! Is there a shortage we don’t know about in some far-tucked-away land where they can’t find turkeys for Thanksgiving? The 12 drummers drumming for your Christmas party music? A 2.9 percent increase. Union fees, I suppose. And the real culprit to the price hike is — you guessed it — the nine ladies dancing.
Oh no, that’s not a chauvinistic statement. Not that I am “gentleman” enough to frequent those clandestine joints of ill repute, but there’s a 20 percent price hike from $6,294 in 2012 to $7,552 in 2013. Those women need to call Mary Kay or something because makeup can’t cost that much. God knows it’s not because of clothes.
*True cost is the “total cost of items gifted by a True Love who repeats all of the song’s verses,” according to PNC. Because that would happen in high school.
- Roger Goodell Press Conference Is Your #PRFail of the Week
- Someone Forgot to Cancel Joan Rivers' Instagram iPhone Promo
- CNN Gives Scottish Independence Story 110 Percent
- Mattel Shushes F-Bomb Barbie