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Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’

STUDY: Traditional Toys Still Rule on Christmas

christmasThe great American orator, Christmas legend and crime-fighting hero, John McClane of ‘Die Hard’ fame, once opined about technology, “As far as I’m concerned, progress peaked with frozen pizza.”

While non-Die-Hard-aficionados try to decipher the acronym in the picture provided here, you will note that many agree with Detective McClane. Even children. Wait, what?

According to this release posting from Digital Journal, and “three years’ worth of shopping data from Twenga, the UK’s most comprehensive retail search engine,” kids dig the Lego set and Lincoln Logs over something where batteries are not provided.

Yes, way.

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A Deceased Wife’s Christmas Wish — Two Years in the Making

Brenda-Schmitz-Christmas-Wish-Her-Husband-New-WifeFlacks, get your Facebook posts ready, turn up the volume and grab plenty of tissue.

This Christmas wish comes to a husband — a widower in Des Moines, Iowa named David Schmitz — from his wife (Brenda, pictured to the left) who died two years ago of ovarian cancer. Sounds strange, I know, but this story and 14-minute video is one of the most gut-wrenching, tear-inducing and Christmas-good-feeling moments you will spend this year.

Brenda wrote a letter to her best friend with directions to carry out once her husband found someone to care for their four children.

He did, she did and what is left is magic only found during the Christmas holidays.

Please, listen to Brenda Schmitz’s posthumous Christmas wish for her husband now that he has found the strength to move on, under his wife’s blessing. Amazing.

STUDY: The 2013 Cost of the ’12 Days of Christmas’ Because Inflation

Source: Emag.co.uk

Ah, yes. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

That is, until it’s time to pay those damn bills. Then, you begin to consider actually moving to the North Pole because you can get some cheap real estate up there. Why? You are about to be evicted when the IRS comes knocking. (Gotta love those audits.)

Anywho, every year around this time, PNC Wealth Management gets their 15 seconds of fame. It’s well deserved because these are the capricious and inventive folk who post the annual Christmas Price Index, otherwise known as the “Real Cost of the 12 Days of Christmas.” And yes, it went up … againRead more

THIS JUST IN: Meet the Real Pancho Claus from the South Pole

THIS JUST IN 2Just when I thought I have seen every holiday, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, Yule, Eid al Fitr, Solstice story out there, comes this one from the South Pole. You know, from the other side of the frozen tracks?

(BTW, with apologies to Megyn Kelly of FOX News and Phil Roberston of “Duck Dynasty” fame celebrating a very White Christmas, did I get everyone there?)

That’s right, kids. According to most families in high society, here is another reason to lock up doors and bar your windows during the holidays … meet Pancho Claus. Oh no, he’s very real. And you will so dig him!

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STUDY: How Much Money Would Santa Claus Make?

Santa Money

How much would this guy earn? Here’s a hint: Lo-Lo-Lo

This economy sucks. First, layaway shoppers have to stress about getting their kids’ gifts in time, unless the appropriately dubbed “Layaway Santa” shows up on his Mercedes sleigh. The price of gas is still north of $3 a gallon promising to never return to pre-apocalypse affordable rates. And now, thanks to this comprehensive study we read in CNBC, Santa is straight-up getting hosed on his salary at the North Pole!

Before the jump: Parents, you’re welcome. Now you have an out why little Johnny didn’t get that ridiculously priced XBOX ONE. Because Santa can’t afford the damn gas.

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#PRWin: ‘Layaway Santa’ Rings Up $20K for Walmart Shoppers

secret-santa-walmartAttention Walmart Shoppers: Your favorite discount store hasn’t had a slew of great news lately. In fact, you could fill one of its 18-wheeler trucks full of the bad PR they’ve collected recently.

From a food drive for its destitute hourly employees to deciding those hourly workers need to work on Thanksgiving, a lovely hashtag #WalMartFights and a disabled wrestler being banned from Walmart for life, all Walmart stories seem to suck out loud this time of the year.

The store that can’t seem to win during the holidays needed a little Christmas magic from the jolly old fat man to make positive headlines.

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Martha Stewart Takes ‘Home for the Holidays’ Literally for Her Staff

No joke. Her staff thinks she is something that rhymes with "wish." What a ho-ho-ho.

No joke. Her staff thinks she is something that rhymes with “wish.” What a ho-ho-ho.

Martha Stewart, the friend of the housewife and arch-nemesis of the blogger, is now endearing herself to another group of people — her own staff. Just in time for the holidays, Martha Stewart decided now would be a great time to place a fat pink slip in the stocking of her employees.

Yes, according to the New York Postshe fired them this close to Christmas. Now before you go off wanting to stick a Yuletide log in her grill and pray to Santa that she chokes on her craft supplies, let’s hear the woman out. She may have a rational explanation for this. Maybe.  Read more

Something for Your Favorite Flack’s Christmas List: the Ostrich Pillow

Ascani_Ostrich-11

We have all been here. It’s a late night cramming for that huge RFP. The team just isn’t collaborating the way they should, arguing about page numbers on the proposal or something stupid like that. You can’t keep your eyes open and need to crash.

Have no fear, kids. Introducing the Ostrich Pillow.

Bringing sexy back, huh? Just yesterday, we opined about HubSpot’s CEO Brian Halligan’s advocacy to take naps on the job. Whelp, guess what said major domo should find in his Christmas stocking by that certain office brown noser?

Thanks to the story by Mashable, we discovered these options for the desk sloth:

The thoughtfully designed pillow has four holes: two for your arms, one for breathing from your nose and mouth, and one for your neck. It’s available in three colors: sleepy blue, sunset siesta and mellow yellow.

And then there’s this. Click on the story for another delightful picture that resembles someone who got caught cramming her head into the ass end of a Thanksgiving turkey. MEMO to Ostrich Pillow owners: Take the thing off before you look up to discover your picture being taken for Facebook.

(Photo via Mashable)

Starbucks Joins the Black Friday Black Eye to the Holidays

Kinda says it all to me after this holiday buzzkill news

Kinda says it all to me after this holiday buzzkill news

Sure, there’s a Starbucks on every corner. If you don’t believe me, listen to the great Lewis Black explain it.

Now, I understand Starbucks thinks it is a retail giant, but it’s not. Admit it, O’ siren of the coffee bean. You sell addiction in a nicely tight package of prepubescent angst.

Your smarmy baristas may be happy to provide some fattening lemon, pumpkin or other fru-fru bread, but you are placed on every street corner in the known world to sell coffee.

Your PR is for coffee. Your products are known as coffee. Your bottom line is laced in it.

So, far be it from me — who just loves all this Thanksgiving Thursday / Black Friday hurry-hurry-sell-till-you-puke-mess — to allow a moment like this to go by without a comment of snark. But Santa has decided that Starbucks would be better served as a big box retail store than a depot for hipsters ogling over each other’s skinny jeans and graphic tees.

According to the ConsumeristStarbucks’ Black Friday deal is $65 for a stainless steel tumbler that comes with an entire month’s worth of free espresso-based beverages.

Well, dip me in a caramel macchiato and call me java mama. I hope this comes with an appointment to an internist because your damn liver and kidneys may have something for you by New Years.

STUDY: People Aren’t Getting Self-Handsy During the Holidays

Jerking off all time lowYesterday, we brought you a story about PS4 and its latest “partner” in providing kids an ultimate gaming experience. And as filthy as I felt writing that thing, would you believe I found more?

Although I had to filter for images and stories with extreme heedfulness, would you believe the people that brought you free videos of BBWs doing the Harlem Shake on an actual Globetrotter have a real study out?!

Get this: According to the Pornhub “study,” no one is stuffing their turkey, yanking their mistletoe or putting a cornucopia on their Yuletide log during the holidays, if you know what I mean.

Hey, this is real news, flacks. I just report it!

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