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Posts Tagged ‘Death and Taxes’

‘Hard’ to Believe There’s Even More #PRFail for the U.S. Government

Kathleen Sebelius

Um? Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, please proceed to the white courtesy phone.

For all those people who think the U.S. Government is “up” to something, they are in more ways than you know. How so? The morning wood is not the gavel used by the Speaker of the House.

According to this legit report by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the taxpayer has been overpaying for penis pumps for Medicare recipients.

This is our government, people. And wait until you read this…

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Obama Administration Goes Gay for the Sochi Olympics

#notimpressed

This is his best McKayla Maroney

Yesterday we were fascinated by a column that longtime punchline Pat Buchanan wrote for Town Hall in which he asked fellow “paleoconservatives” whether self-elected pseudo-Communist op-ed writer (and #1 Boyz II Men fan) Vladimir Putin was “one of us” because of how much he dislikes the gays. Some people…

Anyway, Pat’s personal version of the anti-Christ decided to take a somewhat bold stance yesterday by announcing that no members of the Obama or Biden families will be attending the winter games in Sochi. While some may claim it’s an attempt to avoid yet another of the VP’s famous gaffes, it reads a lot like a statement of solidarity with the LGBT community.

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(Fake) Pace Salsa Feed Demonstrates the Dangers of Twitter Automation

For some reason, Google wants to patent the very concept of the automated social media response. After scrolling through this epic interaction between some comedian and the Pace Salsa Twitter account, we think they might want to reconsider.

To sum up a very long back-and-forth, dude made a (ten-month-old) joke about the brand which the feed randomly favorited thanks to a software “glitch”. But when he tried to interact he got the same robo-response again and again:

A real-life individual took the reins and began actively trying to convince Kinane to let it go before his boss apparently said “enough already”:

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Everlast Sues Trampoline Company for Using the Phrase ‘Jump Around’

That’s pretty much it—your dumbest lawsuit of the week, people.

Screen Shot 2013-11-13 at 3.28.11 PM.jpg

One note, though: the offending phrase is “If you want to get down — Jump Around!”, while anyone who went to middle school, high school or college in the early 90′s knows that the lyrics are “I came to get down, so get out your seat and jump around”. That’s what we call an oblique reference, making this case as misguided as the (imaginary) time a certain Robert Matthew van Winkle sued Smirnoff Ice.

Thus concludes today’s edition of “90′s Nostalgia You’d Rather Forget.”

(H/T to Death and Taxes for reading the New York Post so we don’t have to.)

Catholic Charity Won’t Accept Chicago Heavy Metal Restaurant’s Unholy Money

Looks devilish.A Chicago Catholic charity has refused to accept a peace offering from an area restaurant. Why? Seems they take issue with a burger that makes light of all they (literally) hold sacred. Oh, and it’s all in the name of heavy metal.

The owners of Chi-town meatery Kuma’s Corner love them some Swedish death metal, and they named their latest burger “The Ghost” because “The Opeth” and “The Meshuggah” didn’t sound so tasty (their menu also features sandwiches dedicated to Metallica and Pantera, because they’re old school like that). We love this promotion, but it seems that some took offense at the fact that the burger’s list of ingredients included both the body (communion wafer garnish) and blood (red wine reduction) of Christ.

The story somehow went viral, offended people flooded the restaurant’s pages, and the guys at Kuma’s decided to minimize the dumb controversy with a $1,500 donation to Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Chicago. But the group wasn’t having it.

Here’s Kuma’s explanation on Facebook:

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