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Posts Tagged ‘general stupidity’

Chinese Investor Wants to Buy WSJ Now Because He’s ‘Very Good at Working with Jews’

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After failing in his attempt to buy The New York Times, China’s most awkward billionaire has now set his sights on The Wall Street Journal (and some bridge in California, too).

Chen Guangbiaodescribed by the South China Morning Post as a “recycling tycoon” who’s also one of the 400 richest people in the world’s largest country—really wanted to make the NYT his own before that “bid” was “undone by media attention.

He’s not done yet, though; he has some terrible quotes to entertain and amuse us all!

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Your Biggest News Bloopers of the Year

Because PR people and our clients aren’t the only ones who said and did dumb things in 2013, here’s your year-end news blooper reel.

What, you already watched this yesterday? OK, but you know it’s worth a second click—and yes, there’s a sequel now.

Our only comment: far too few of these people seem legitimately drunk.

This Might Be the Dumbest Tweet Ever Written by a Politician

We’re not quite sure what irritates us most about North Carolina state senator Bob Rucho‘s message: his mediocre-at-best grasp of the English language, his choice to completely butcher a great historical quote, or his decision to break a cardinal law of political discourse by comparing his adversaries to Nazis. The fact that he threw communists and terrorists in there for good measure and that he has called his critics “weenies” shows us that he might have committed a brilliant act of trolling.

Let’s count the errors here: possessive fail, subject-verb agreement fail, using “then” instead of “than”…

Rucho later made an attempt to explain himself:

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11 Things the Media Does That Piss Off PR

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But you said you liked the pitch!!!

Last week we ran a guest listicle about the top things public relations flacks do that piss off our media contacts. We’ve seen a lot of these lists, and the whole thing sometimes feels like a bit of a one-sided conversation, so in a follow-up post we asked our readers to suggest some points from the other side of the screen. Here, without further ado, are eleven things the media does that really irritate PR.

1. Greeting pitches with total silence:

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We know you have more important things to do, but unless we’re pitching you something as ridiculous as the “woman-proof car” you could at least write a simple “No, not interested.”

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Study Tells Marketers to Target Women ‘When They Feel Least Attractive’

Are you f*cking kidding me?

“Are you f*cking kidding me?!”

When we first clicked on this story about a study telling marketers how to target women “when they feel their worst”, we knew it had to be a joke.

However, upon reviewing the accompanying infographic we have determined that it is very, very real. The study was apparently created by the PHD Worldwide agency (part of the totally awesome new Publicom-Omnicus-whatever-the-hell-they’re-calling-it merger), which even pushed out a press release today.

Let’s pick out some of the very worst quotes, shall we?

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Dunkin’ Donuts Didn’t Look So Great in Blackface

Well, then: welcome back to the grind. We hope your hangover isn’t too harsh—and if it is you can just chug some Pedialyte.

So what happened over the long weekend? To start it all off, Dunkin’ Donuts hung its head and apologized for August’s biggest facepalm moment, a “bizarre and racist” ad starring an actress in blackface. This story makes a little more sense when you consider the fact that the spot ran in Thaliand, where CEOs and creative departments are all apparently a little loopy (and racist).

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Orthodox Brooklyn Politician Thinks Blackface Is Hilarious

Brooklyn Assemblyman Dov HikindFor those of you who thankfully don’t know, Dov Hikind is a New York State Assemblyman in our town of Brooklyn who has represented the Borough Park area since 1983 thanks, in large part, to the voters in his district who share his Orthodox faith. Yesterday he hosted a big party for Purim, a holiday derived from a story in the Biblical book of Esther. It was an “open door” party; Hikind encouraged visitors to go a little crazy with their costumes and post the pictures on their Facebook pages.

Today Hikind stands to gain more attention than at any other point in his political career–and the vast majority of it will not be positive. Quite a few people in New York City politics and beyond have expressed their shocked surprise at his decision to attend his own party in blackface, dressed as what he describes as “sort of a black basketball player.”

Hmm…apparently no one told Hikind that blackface was a blatantly racist stage trick used throughout the early 20th century by white performers who embodied cartoonish stereotypes of their black countrymen.

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T-Shirt Maker Sells Last Name to Highest Bidder

In a new twist on the shameless self-promotion phenomenon, Florida entrepreneur Jason Sadler (who appropriately makes a living printing quirky t-shirts) recently pulled a ridiculous stunt by offering to sell his surname to the highest bidder for use as a branding tool.

He did this in order to raise capital so he could continue providing drunk college students everywhere with “Unicorns Rock!” shirts that they’ll wear twice, pack into a drawer and then tear up to use as shoeshine cloths when they grow up and get real jobs.

Well the contest just ended; the winning bid was $45,500, and the wily promoter’s new name will be…Jason Headsets.com (a change he will definitely regret in the morning). The runner-up appears to be JLabAudio, which tells us that headphone makers are desperate for media exposure. We can’t all be Beats by Dre and charge $300 for a set of freaking headphones, can we?

This new URL surname isn’t really what we had in mind; we were thinking of something classy like “Jason Cadillac” or “Jason Burger King”. We also wonder how much the move will ultimately benefit either party–though we will say that we had never heard of headsets.com or IWearYourTShirt.com before today, so we guess it’s all good?

We can’t quite endorse this strategy, but it is a wiser approach to homemade PR than, say, accepting a $15,000 offer to tattoo a political campaign logo on your face (especially when your candidate loses).

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Lots of States Apparently Want to Secede Now

Civil War-era Paper Declares the Union DissolvedWell, OK, that headline may be just a tiny bit misleading. But we are somewhat amused to report that, as of right now, groups claiming to represent at least twenty states have created accounts on the White House’s official “open petitions” page in order to request the opportunity to secede from the USA and form their own governments.

We certainly don’t want to deny these overzealous patriots the right to have some fun. According to the “We the People” project started in 2011, the White House will respond to any petition that receives 25,000 signatures in less than 30 days. Several of these pages are already close to that number, so some lucky communications intern will be writing form emails to a bunch of would-be revolutionaries over the next few weeks.

Something tells us they won’t be satisfied.

We don’t want to make generalizations: Note, for example, that many of those who added their virtual signatures to the New York version of the “secession petition” don’t live anywhere near the state.

A hint, though, for the petitioners: One of the most popular answers to the question “How can we improve the economy?” in a 2009 voter participation survey was “legalize marijuana”, and the president just laughed at that one. So we’re saying that your approach won’t work. In the meantime, feel free to make the millions of other Americans who live in your respective states look clueless by association.

Worst. PR Stunt. Ever. (Back Pain Edition)

Definitely a murdererCourtesy of Gawker, we bring you what will undoubtedly be the worst PR move of this or, arguably, any other week: a Minnesota chiropractor’s office sent out a press release implying that both the Aurora Dark Knight Rises tragedy AND the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001 could have been prevented by…you guessed it, a trip to your friendly local back specialist.

According to the words of an unnamed PR genius writing under the headline “Don’t Let Anyone Go All Batman on YOUR Kids,” the perpetrators of these horrific crimes were almost certainly motivated by an inability to “feel pain, feel happiness, feel anything” stemming from screwed up or “WAY haywire!!” nervous systems that all lead back to “subluxated” spinal columns and other chiropractic discomforts. Like, duh.

If only those mass murderers had gone in for a glorified back massage. We have no words.

(In the most obvious follow-up ever, an apology was issued the next day.)