So, you’re a jaded PR professional. You watch the clock all day long because your clients just don’t do it for you any longer. You stare out the window or watch national network news pondering about the high life. From the convenience of your not-so-smartphone, you troll the special #HAPPO want ads, and you see it…
The big break. The moment for which you have been waiting your entire career. Prayers answers. Cherubs singing overhead. Cash registers ringing a melody of “Handel’s Messiah.” What is it?
According to TMZ.com, Dr. Conrad Murray — as in, the guy accused of murdering Michael Jackson — is looking for a publicist. Here’s an idea of what that fateful want ad may read:
WANTED: A talentless and unscrupulous flack in dire need of that filthy Hollywood attention. Paparazzi, “group” functions at hot tub clubs and gorging at In N’ Out during your 2 a.m. jitters. Someone who uses plagiarism as “research,” treats contacts in the media as if they owe you a solid and would be willing to sell his or her mother for a nice view and some Skittles.