Excited yet? The “exclusive” TMZ video of the two arguing during Idol auditions resembles the beginning of history’s most tedious catfight. We can’t really understand any of it, but we get the general impression that Nicki is a little intimidated by Mariah’s seniority and that Ms. Carey is playing this year’s J.Lo by steadfastly refusing to be upstaged by anyone.

One thing is clear: Barbara Walters raised the stakes on Thursday’s episode of The View by repeating Mariah’s claim that Nicki threatened to “shoot the — b*tch” while walking offstage. Minaj then got a bit defensive (and slightly insane) on Twitter, mocking Carey for hiring more bodyguards while the show’s publicists loudly claimed that no one had made anything resembling a death threat.

Is this what passes for excitement in Seacrest-world? We’re already bored, but we guess we need to ask what the show’s producers and third-party stars think about all this deadly-serious drama.

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This week a crass, demeaning and shockingly amateur video ignited violent Anti-American uprisings throughout the Muslim world. Another amateur video sent Presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s struggling campaign into an absolute tailspin. But now, finally, a “subversive” video to laugh about.

The PR gurus over at SmartWater posted a video on YouTube that directly targets America’s greatest weakness: celebrities. Celebrities in America are the opiate of the masses that Karl Marx warned us about, so when Jennifer Aniston shows up in leaked home security footage, our culture pays attention.

Who can resist the gravitational pull of an unfettered glimpse into Jennifer Aniston’s home life? This isn’t some boring paleontologist or Supreme Court justice; this is a beautiful actress whose love life is of greater concern to many Americans than their own spouses.

And it’s all fake, of course. continued…

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As we mentioned in this morning’s Ticker, the White House Correspondents Dinner Saturday night was filled with jokes. Here’s a clip from Jimmy Kimmel and coverage of President Obama’s bit. Separately and unsurprisingly, Keith Olbermann had something to say about a joke aimed in his direction. Olbermann took to Twitter.

MinOnline has a list of the top six monthlies for May, with Marie Claire on top.

Ryan Seacrest continues along his path to world domination with a deal that will put him on the Today show as well as NBC primetime news and the network’s entertainment specials. He’ll be cutting back on E!. TVNewser has the press release.

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On the good side, you have the wins for Octavia Spencer (Best Supporting Actress) and Meryl Streep (Best Actress). Viola Davis was also the talk of the town both for her choice to go with a natural hairstyle and because she was the expected Best Actress winner.

Once again, the women from the nominated film Bridesmaids had everyone taking shots at the mere mention of Scorsese. And Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig went there with their talk about movie (and weiner) size. Video after the jump, ICYMI, or if you just want to watch it again.

On the not-so-positive side, Jennifer Lopez may have taken her cleavage too far this time and spurred a conversation about a possible wardrobe malfunction. Her stylist says no way.

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Ryan Seacrest

TIME.com‘s GM paid a visit to Mediabistro’s Publishing App Expo to talk about the role of apps in a business plan. For more on the Expo, check out GalleyCat and eBookNewser.

The publisher, EIC, and creative director of the Manhattan society mag AVENUE have jumped ship with some of Jared Kushner’s money in order to start another Manhattan society mag that has yet to be named. Kushner is the wallet behind the New York Observer (and is married to Ivanka Trump). A statement from the new publication’s publisher and CEO (and AVENUE‘s former publisher), Julie Dannenberg , includes references to Henry James and Edith Wharton so we’re guessing this magazine will be pretty annoying. (Though we love us some Edith Wharton.)

Vogue has launched an archive and the subscription costs $1,575 per year. That’s as much as the average pair of designer shoes on one of its pages, so it’s a deal? The archive has 100,000 articles and 425,000 images. [via Folio]

NewsBasis, a HARO/ProfNet-like site that launched last year, is shutting down on December 16.

T.J. Holmes is leaving CNN at the end of the year to join BET, where he will have his own show and a presence on the website. [via TVNewser]

Click through for more media changes.

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Soon you’ll be able to purchase an E! Live from the Red Carpet/Stila Cosmetics makeup palette, a line of “special occasion” dresses from Adrianna Papell for E! Live From the Red Carpet, lose weight with the Red Carpet Gourmet line from E! and Freshology, or get an E! special Xen-Tan.

So in addition to Ryan Seacrest, Giuliana Rancic, Gaga-filled eggs, clamoring paparazzi, and other red carpet activity, we can probably also expect strategically-placed products, banners, and other mentions of these products during the hours of award pre-shows that E! airs. This is exactly the picture of style and glamor the red carpet was intended to be.

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As Lady Gaga‘s minions made their way down the red carpet for last night’s Grammy awards presentation carrying the superstar in a giant egg, her people were on hand to give Ryan Seacrest the details about what the heck was going on. In short, a lot of PR activity.

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Photo: Getty Images

The long, hellish silence is over. Unleash the tweets!

“These carbs are attacking me. I can’t stop,” posted Ryan Seacrest a couple of hours ago with a picture of a half-eaten muffin and bagel.

It was revealed yesterday that the Keep A Child Alive campaign had exceeded its $1 million fundraising goal by $125. Today the New York Post reports we can all thank billionaire pharma exec Steven Rahr , a.k.a. Stewie Rah Rah, for his $500,000 donation, which brought the celebs back to life. The story says the celebs “persuaded” Stewie to donate the money. He has donated to other charities, including the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

We’re sure KCA is happy not just for the donation, but to bring this disastrous campaign to an end.

[Image via NY Observer.]

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The Keep a Child Alive campaign in which participating celebrities stopped tweeting and Facebooking until $1 million is raised to benefit those impacted by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India had only raised $70,000 by 7p.m.EST last night. Among the celebrities that have gone silent are Ryan Seacrest (at left) and Keep a Child Alive co-founder Alicia Keys. The campaign launched yesterday, which was World AIDS Day.

The Wrap proposes two reasons for the lack of contributions: the $10 minimum donation is too high for a still-recovering economy; and by taking the celebs offline, the campaign has lost one of its best tools for drumming up support. Both very good points wethinks.

The site suggests that the campaign should’ve threatened digital death if the money wasn’t raised, like a digital extortion. Your thoughts?

Update: The total has gone up… to $162,000.

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In honor of the teenagers who recently committed suicide after they were bullied for being gay, October 20 has been declared Spirit Day.

Purple is the unifying color for the day; millions are expected to both wear the color and create purple versions of their Twitter and Facebook pages in support.  Among those millions are the E! News and E! News Now anchors, including Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic, who will be wearing purple for this evening’s broadcast, according to a press release.

According to Laura McGinnis, a spokesperson for The Trevor Project, an organization focused on preventing suicide among LGBT youth, gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual young people.

In addition, McGinnis told USA Today, “it’s unclear whether there has been an increase in suicides by gay and lesbian young people but the issue has gotten more attention. More suicides are being recognized by family, teachers and friends as being the result of bullying or harassment because of sexual orientation.”

The story says 1.4 million have pledged their participation on Facebook. Information about how to take part in the day’s commemoration is available on the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) website.

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