TVNewser AgencySpy TVSpy LostRemote FishbowlNY FishbowlDC SocialTimes AllFacebook 10,000 Words GalleyCat UnBeige MediaJobsDaily

U.S. Rep. Jack Kingston: ‘Poor Kids Should Clean Floors for Lunch’

Jack Kingston

Just when you thought public opinion of Congress couldn’t get any worse.

Meet U.S. Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA).

He’s a mild-mannered man running for U.S. Senate to replace the retiring Sen. Saxby Chambliss. When running for such a prestigious office, most people will rehearse talking points that a skilled PR professional will craft. Why? Because said flack will understand how to balance poignancy with diplomacy, persistence with assistance.

Oh no, not Jack. He needed the budget, did away with the flack, bought some Crisco grease, lubed up his ears and stuck his head smooth up his blessed assurance. How? You’ll love this.

Ever heard that axiom, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch?”

Yeah, well this dude took that too literally as he was stumping for U.S. Senate in front of the Jackson County Republican Party near his own backyard. Among his topics were Obamacare, of course, and the federal school lunch program.

You see, under this federally mandated program, poverty-stricken families are eligible for free meals and others get a much-needed discount. However, Jackass here thinks if those kids want to get fed, they earn it the old-fashioned way — by sweeping the floors of the school cafeteria. I know, right? He’s the classiest Congressman I know too.

“But one of the things I’ve talked to the secretary of agriculture [sic] about: Why don’t you have the kids pay a dime, pay a nickel to instill in them that there is, in fact, no such thing as a free lunch? Or maybe sweep the floor of the cafeteria — and yes, I understand that that would be an administrative problem, and I understand that it would probably lose you money. But think what we would gain as a society in getting people — getting the myth out of their head that there is such a thing as a free lunch,” he said.

“Administrative problem” is nothing compared the PR problem this jackleg fool is about to encounter. It’s not like seven- and eight-year-old children living in poverty, some without both or any parents, have it bad enough. Let’s make them work even harder in grade school by addressing their home problem in front of their peers.

“Oh, that’s the bebe kid who doesn’t have lunch money. Here, let me spit out my gum since he’s sweeping it up anyway.” Sure, nothing like some good ol’ academia caste system, bigotry and humiliation to take home with those books and a grocery bag used as a backpack, huh?

Asked for additional comment on the congressman’s remarks, Kingston spokesman Chris Crawford replied, “It is sad that trying to have a productive conversation about instilling a strong work ethic in the next generation of Americans so quickly devolves into the usual name-calling partisan hysteria. Having worked from a young age himself, Congressman Kingston understands the value of hard work and the important role it plays in shaping young people.”

When in doubt, relate to the people. Nice move, Crawford. Here’s another one: Tell your jackwagon-removed-from-humanity-boss to check out the unemployment line at Mickey D’s because that’s where homeboy is going to be looking for work in a few months.

Mediabistro Course

Presentation Writing: Design and Delivery

Presentation Writing: Design and DeliveryLearn how to use storytelling techniques and visual content to create and deliver successful pitches and presentations! Starting August 6, Amanda Pacitti, the manager of learning at Time Inc., will teach you the best practices for presentations, from using software like Prezi and Powerpoint, to writing your script, and using images, audio, and video to drive your points. Register now!