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LeBron. Cleveland. Tonight. 8 P.M.

Hide the women and children; LeBron’s back.

Actually, forget that. The women and children will be joining the grown men of Ohio to boo the heck out of LBJ when he returns to Cleveland Thursday night as a member of the Miami Heat. For one night only, Cleveland does indeed rock.

What does it all mean? Welp

People might end up in jail.

Local governments may topple.

Only something bad could happen. I guarantee you.

Whatever it is? There will definitely be something in the air.

That’s okay. Just maybe lay off the five-year-old Heat fans, okay?

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