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Olbermann To O’Reilly: “Keep It Up!”

On Tuesday Night, Bill O’Reilly went after MSNBC again: “There’s also major chaos at MSNBC, where Rick Kaplan has left after pretty much destroying that place. He did the same thing at CNN before he got fired over there. Closing in on its 10th anniversary, MSNBC’s ratings are lower than they were six years ago, which might be ridiculous.”

Sending Keith Olbermann a personal message requesting another “Factor Fiction” segment, complete with Stewie Griffin, would have been just as effective.

Last night on Countdown, Olbermann tried to get inside O’Reilly’s head: “It’s slipping away from you. You don’t know what to do. You can’t even lie well any more. Seriously: I understand. It’s called panic.”

Olbermann continued: “You begin to see the audience dying off, and the creases deepening in your forehead, and the loofahs drying up. You make mistakes, you trust the wrong people, you blame Al Franken, you yell at somebody, you yell at everybody. It feels like the ladder is teetering.”

His final message to O’Reilly: “Keep it up!” A link to the video is on MSNBC.com’s home page. Click continued for the full message…




Keith Olbermann’s message to Bill O’Reilly:

 Listen, Slappy, Fox’s ratings are lower than they were five years ago.

Billo! 267,000 of your nightly viewers have vanished since last June. Call Fox Security! They’re missing!

All eleven of Fox’s regular shows’ ratings are down, four of them are down by fifteen percent or more.

If John Gibson loses any more audience he won’t need a microphone.

And your boss? Jabba the Hut? He’s taking out ads threatening to fire his own employees!

Your ‘ratings whuppin’ stick’ is now smaller than your falafel!

Bill, seriously, it’s slipping away from you. You don’t know what to do. You can’t even lie well any more.

Seriously: I understand. It’s called panic. Like what happened to you in Scranton. And Hartford. And Boston with that thing with the egg on Zippy the sportscaster’s face. And at ABC when Rick Kaplan got you fired.

It’s terrifying.

You begin to see the audience dying off, and the creases deepening in your forehead, and the loofahs drying up. You make mistakes, you trust the wrong people, you blame Al Franken, you yell at somebody, you yell at everybody. It feels like the ladder is teetering.

You’re tired, you’re depressed, you’re anxious, you’re balding.

Let me give you three words of advice, Billo:

Keep It Up!

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