Dan Snyder‘s horrible no good week keeps getting worse.

Albert Haynesworth, the man the Washington Redskins owner paid $41 million to do almost nothing, was charged “with simple assault for a road rage incident with another motorist on the Fairfax County Parkway in Reston, Fairfax police said.”

The Class 1 misdemeanor is punishable by up to 12 months in a county jail and a $2,500 fine, although Washington Post reporter Tom Jackman notes “a maximum sentence is rarely imposed for altercations such as this unless the defendant has a lengthy prior record.” (Does head stomping count as a prior record?)

It’s been a difficult year for Haynesworth. Read more

The Onion is known for its outlandish stories and cheeky headlines. So when you see a title such as “Why does most modern sports broadcasting suck so hard?,” you expect to read, laugh, throwaway.

Except then you realize the column is in the AV Club section. You read closer. You nod. You smile. Noel Murray understands:

Watching a Saturday baseball game on Fox is like tuning into an especially lame daytime talk show, interrupted by the occasional play in the field. This most recent Thanksgiving weekend, while gorging on football, I grew exhausted by the frequent breaks to show the broadcast crews of the respective games enjoying their holiday dinners. A little bit of that is fine, but on one game, an announcer went to commercial teasing more footage of the staff’s touch-football outing. (Because surely that’s why we we were all watching.)

The writer spends almost 2,000 words ripping apart the current state of sports broadcasting, landing blow after blow. It’s probably not anything you haven’t heard before, but it’s an excellent collection of points that combine to demonstrate the dumbing down, broadcasters-as-stars phenomenon.

We have but one quibble. Read more

Fear not, Bengals fans upset about the blackout on Sunday.

Chad Ochocinco is to the rescue … sorta.

The Cincinnati wide receiver went on Twitter and said he would buy the unsold tickets for Sunday’s game against the New Orleans Saints so the game wouldn’t be blacked out locally.

“Dear Cincinnati I’m purchasing the remaining tickets for Sundays game, blackout my ass, now anybody know how many I need ti buy n how much?” Ochocinco tweeted yesterday.

One slight problem, though.

Those tickets had to be sold 72 hours before kick-off and the Bengals didn’t request an extension from the NFL.

Too little, too late, #85.

You have to give Ochocinco credit though. Not many players on a 2-9 team would be willing to open up their checkbook for the benefit of the fans.

Below are the broadcast teams for Week 13 of “Where in the World is Gus Johnson?” Read more