In a 2,500-word enlightening, and ultimately haunting, profile of CNN’s Michael Ware, Men’s Journal’s Greg Veis gives readers a look at what the horror’s of war can do to a journalist on the frontlines.

“I am not the same fucking person,” Ware tells Veis. “I am not the same person. I don’t know how to come home.”

But he is now. And the self-described “war dog” is adjusting back to civilian life. Veis describes a video Ware shot after he volunteered to accompany the unit he was covering on a “terrifying,” pitch black, raid against insurgents in Fallujah.

The staff sergeant on that raid, David Bellavia, regards Ware as one of the Marines’ own. “I can’t stand the media, but I would go through hell with a bucket of gasoline for Michael Ware,” he says. “He goes through all the things we go through — 55 cigs a day, no sleep. And if we were allowed to drink, we’d drink as much as he does. When you look at him, you look into vacant eyes. He looks like my military friends do. He’s seen enough shit.”

There is just one mention of CBS’ Lara Logan in the piece, and it comes in one of the most revealing paragraphs. Click continued to see the passage…

Fellow reporters claim Ware has bragged about being drunk on air (he denies it) and has destroyed television equipment during epic tantrums (“Things get broken in bureaus from time to time; it’s just normal wear and tear,” he demurs). He admits to having a terrible time sustaining relationships and once got in an altercation with another man over his former girlfriend (and fellow tabloid fodder) CBS reporter Lara Logan. He can’t sleep and watches trash TV until the sun comes up over Baghdad. In short, he hasn’t been well for a while.