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30 Years Later, What Has Always Been Obvious to Dorks Becomes Reality for Everyone

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Rebel forces claimed a victory yesterday with the announcement that they will be stationing over 200 R2-D2 units in cities throughout the galaxy. These droids will be crucial to the relaying of messages between members of the Alliance over great distances, although their holographic projection capabilities will be disabled.

The R2 units will precede the highly-anticipated release of thousands of paper-thin devices encrypted with monentary value that are used to transport messages. The release is scheduled for March 28 to coincide with the 30th anniversary of the destruction of the Death Star.

We must rely on our embedded Citizens’ Stamp Advisory Committee member Ensign Jessica Helfand to keep us updated.

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