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It was kind of like getting a Chipotle Southwest Cheese Steak when we ordered a Veggie Delite. It was much more than we bargained for, and forcing it down made us sick.

Don’t miss’s video about pitching Subway, a delightful nine-minute reminder of why you didn’t go to work in advertising. Some thoughts:

1. After watching it halfway through, and thinking it was a parody, we realized it was real, and had to start it over, in disbelief.

2. We must know more about this revolutionary research technique of “embedded” sandwich artists and interviewing people on the streets.

3. Especially if you say things like “zinga,” “you da man,” and “whicha” (you know, the whip sound) in real life, editing was invented to help people like you appear smarter.

4. Ineffective/underutilized 6-inch/12-inch jokes.

5. That song sounds like Matchbox 20.

6. You are likely celebrating the fact that we are posting this,, seeing as it represents a victory in your viral marketing plan. We wish you the very best at winning an account we think is absolutely perfect for you.

Although we think the comments below the video speak for themselves, “Unsolicited” is the first official industry response, from famed agency filmmakers, Coudal.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re about to Jared Fogle all over ourselves.

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