Because it's die-cut, foil-stamped, embossed, and expensive ("about four dollars a card"). Because it took 25 years to design. Because it doesn't fit in a Rolodex. Because it doesn't belong in a Rolodex. Because it's on card stock so thick and creamy that it can slice cheese. Because there's a surprise inside. Because it demonstrates "incredible marketing capability." Because it's the pride and maniacal joy of this results-oriented entrepreneur, the Patrick Bateman of event planning. Thanks to Design Observer for sending us his way.