There's more doom and gloom in today's issue of the Times than your average Gina Kolata headline: We first recoiled at this Thursday Styles teaser: The promise that strength training speeds metabolism, allowing a person to lose weight effortlessly, is wrong. (While this has nothing to do with design, it is still disheartening.)

Then, Home & Garden kills off midcentury modern, neuters branded designers, and calls New Yorkers "chaste". In another piece, furniture refurbisher Matthew Haly sniffs, "I've never paid more than $50 for any piece." But while he disdains the Chelsea Flea Market, he coyly fails to mention where he does find said bargains. Rude.

We're not even going to get into the Styles opener—which profiles people who are making major cash selling the equivalent of iron-on tees—except to say we do agree with Guy Trebay's opening salvo (though we also thought briefly it might be a review of our bosses' speaking engagement last night): NEVER underestimate the power of a martini when drafting a business plan. At least we can say amen to that.