Why we are not invited to such things, we do not know. But when we hear things like "Michael Bierut is being roasted at an exclusive benefit held at the Architectural League," we think, well, good thing we have the spies. Well-dressed spies, who drink far too much and only remember the good parts. Spies who supply us with choice information like this about our favorite 50-year-old.

Kurt Andersen served as emcee/host/moderator and Massimo Vignelli said Bierut was the best designer he's ever employed.

Jim Biber and Bierut were sitting in the exit row of a flight about to take off from La Guardia when they had to evacuate the plane on the runway. Back in the airport reeling from their emergency efforts, Bierut looked at his watch and said, "I think we could still make the 12:10 flight." They did, and made it to Seattle where they nailed a job. Paula Scher, however, just had to recount the one job Bierut didn't get.

Steven Heller read a mock obituary that had the crowd roaring. Writer Suzanne Stephens performed what was described to us as a "burlesque dance." And Dorothy Bierut told a story about her fine husband strolling out of the gym...without his pants.

And the photo above? We don't know what he's doing there. But we honestly can't tell if he has pants on there, either.