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Posts Tagged ‘John Hodgman’

In Which John Hodgman Deftly Compares Corn on the Cob, Typewriters, and 3D Printers

We first discovered the genius that is John Hodgman in late 2005, when we spent Christmas reading aloud to our family (and anyone else who would list) the lists of “hobo facts” and wacky state mottoes (e.g., Nebraska: “Birthplace of Unicameral Government!”) in The Areas of My Expertise. That inspired volume, the first in his since triumphantly completed trilogy of Complete World Knowledge, would go on to catalyze Hodgman’s transformation from a literary agent-turned-magazine writer to global renown as an author of fake trivia books, The Daily Show‘s resident deranged millionaire, judge, and most recently, star of his own Netflix special. In addition to the highly enertaining Judge John Hodgman Pocast, he adjudicates disputes (in 100 words or less) in a wee column of The New York Times Magazine, and his latest is a doozy:

Sophia writes: My father eats corn horizontally. I eat it in a circular motion. I believe that his way of eating is inefficient. Could you please issue an injunction stating that the proper way to eat corn is in a circular motion?
Your father eats corn that way because, as I do, he remembers what a typewriter is. It’s hard for us to see a roller-food and not proceed left to right before returning to the next line. Sometimes I even hear a bell ring. You dismantle your corn like a 3-D printer in reverse: vertical stack by vertical stack. Your argument from efficiency is specious, so I find in your father’s favor: I would rather look like Hemingway while eating than like some kind of mechanized chipmunk any day.

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AIGA NY Holiday Party to be PC-Compatible

AIGA NY has opened their annual holiday party up to the masses, so what was once a simple party for AIGA members will now be the THE/ NEW/ BIGGER/ ANNUAL/ AIGA/ NY/ HOLIDAY/ DANCE/ PARTY/ FUNDRAISER/ SPECTACULAR on December 9. And might we also add FREE FOOD/ GRIND-O-RAMA/ PASS OUT ON STAIRS/ SAY INAPPROPRIATE THINGS TO YOUR BOSS/ HIT ON DEBBIE MILLMAN.

In addition to the usual tradition of designer-designed gift-wrap given to all attendees (along with a free drink, cha-ching!) there will be an auction, presided over by none other than author, mole man expert, and Windows-running impresario John Hodgman. Up for bidding are some tasty, tasty treats, like a private tour of MOMA’s Design Department by Paola Antonelli and Christian Larsen, custom calligraphy by Marian Bantjes, and the item we’ll be sending in a field rep for: Michael Bierut‘s Voice for Your Phone Greeting.

Really? He has to say anything you want him to? And you get to record it?

PC vs. Mac: Bill Gates Just Doesn’t Get It

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We try not to get in the middle of things when it comes to discussing operating systems. We really do. But when Newsweek confronts Bill Gates about the PC vs. Mac ads, we’re gonna have to talk about it. Here’s what Gates said that’s got everyone up in a tizzy:

And I don’t know why [Apple is] acting like it’s superior. I don’t even get it. What are they trying to say? Does honesty matter in these things, or if you’re really cool, that means you get to be a lying person whenever you feel like it? There’s not even the slightest shred of truth to it.

Fine. Really. He has a point. But speaking of being a lying person, we just don’t buy his answer to this other question:

Are you bugged by the Apple commercial where John Hodgman is the PC, and he has to undergo surgery to get Vista?

I’ve never seen it.

LIAR!