Step aside, Saatchi LA and your Toyota “Swagger Waggon,” Innocean has created its own sect of hip, kid-toting, SUV-driving couples called, wait for it, “alternadults.”   The agency’s latest spot for Hyundai’s 2013 Santa Fe Sport  visualizes a set of epic parents indulging in a time-old tradition: as their kids dig into a mini mountain of ice cream or find their feet after paragliding, their parents say, “Don’t tell Mom” or “Don’t tell Dad.”

“The best stories you’ll ever tell start with ‘don’t tell,’” the wise-old-man voiceover says. It’s a bold statement, especially in the Internet age. (Facebook pics or it didn’t happen.) But apparently–according to the Innocean camp–a subsection of Gen X parents, defined as “Alternadults,” have “grown up, but don’t necessarily want to grow old.” Since growing old means making embarrassing Facebook posts, they’re not doing that. Instead, they’re making mischief, even when their mild rule breaking includes the kids and a Hyundai Sante Fe.

Ridiculousness of the term “alternadults” aside, I don’t think a good story has ever really started with “don’t tell.” Cool parents don’t care about keeping their black diamond runs and toilet papering a secret, and outside the family it’s a phrase that prefaces salacious gossip and abusive situations. I’d rather see an ad in which, after a crazy day of father-son mountain biking, dad says, “Tell mom about the log you jumped over today.” Alterna-mom would be stoked.

Check out the credits after the jump.

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