TVNewser FishbowlNY AgencySpy TVSpy LostRemote PRNewser SocialTimes AllFacebook 10,000 Words GalleyCat UnBeige MediaJobsDaily

Piranhamous

Incoming Heritage Prez Parties with Media Types

Last night the new home of Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) held its annual media Christmas party. That organization used to be known as The Heritage Foundation, but now you’d only know it as The DeMint Foundation since the Senator’s announcement.

The party is a must-attend for Washington media types and party crashers alike. Good food, top-shelf booze and big name revelers. The food disappointed this year but the attendees did not.

In addition to DeMint and outgoing foundation president Ed Feulner, other media types in attendance included… Read more

Ask Piranhamous Anything

Here is this week’s installment of “Ask Piranhamous Anything.”  If you have a question you’d like “snarked to death,” send it to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com. This isn’t an advice column. Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple, funny and insightful.

Is there such a thing as too many year-end lists?

Yes, but if they didn’t sell, outlets wouldn’t do them. Time has the “Person of the Year” coupled with a list of other people they think you should give a shit about too, and Newsweek is going digital only. Coincidence? I think not. That’s not to say all these lists aren’t crap, they are. How many of them will Honey Boo-Boo make? These lists are why we know who half the morons on them are in the first place. If they’re not a sign of the apocalypse, they’re definitely the tip of the spear that kills western civilization.

Why won’t Ron Fournier stop trotting his child out to get media hits?

Because it works. It works even better than the ace up his other sleeve – being in the media himself and embracing the natural suck-up/ass-kissing that goes on in that circle. Honestly, is there anything someone in the media loves more than covering someone else in the media’s tale of something they’ve overcome/are overcoming? You’d think he was hero when all he is is doing is his duty as a father. Then again, considering some other people in the media, simply doing his fatherly duty might just make him a hero in relative terms.

Read about the bitchfest between Roll Call and Politico… Read more

Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com. This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple and insightful.

1. Which journo would you most want to spend the holidays with?

Dear God, do I have to? I’m fairly certain Hell would be filled with more cheer. But since I’m obligated to answer, I’ll put it to you this way – depends on the holiday.

Hanukkah – Chris Hayes, Ezra Klein, Dave Weigel and the rest of the Boy Banders. Some are Jewish, some aren’t, but that doesn’t matter because I’d imagine it would be an 8-day bender. Come to think of it, any 8-day stretch with them is probably a bender, and it would be a lot like hanging out at a hipster bar after all the hipsters moved on because the wannabes started outnumbering them. And I value my IQ points too much to emerge myself in that much MSNBC so I’ll just limit it to one MSNBCer and revise my remarks to Al Sharpton. This may seem like an odd choice but I think picking up all the remarks he mutters under his breath each of the 8-days would be amusing.

Christmas – Bill O’Reilly. Aside from the embarrassing gang on Fox & Friends, no one has done more to defend Christmas from idiots who seem only to engage in their “War on Christmas” to get publicity for their fringe group no one has ever heard of before or will hear from again than Bill. And I imagine the whole day will be spent tackling anyone who tries to TP a pine tree since he never stops.

Kwanza – Lawrence O’Donnell and Ed Schultz. Why would I pick the two whitest men on the planet next to Sean Hannity to spend a little-known, radical separatist black holiday with?  Because I think they’d try to celebrate it to prove they’re multi-cultural and would have no idea how to do it. Can you imagine anything more amusing than watching them trying on Dashikis and trying to mean it? I can’t.

Boxing Day – Howie Kurtz: For no particular reason.

Or course this is all moot, or at least most of it, since the world is ending on Dec. 21st. So I’d just like to say thank you to the Mayans for saving me from this Hell.

2. Do you have high hopes that Jeff Zucker will really shake things up at CNN? 

Am I supposed to? I don’t have high hopes that the guy who sucked up NBC and re-unleashed Katie Couric on the world will be able to patch the hole in that Titanic. He’d have a better shot, and I’d probably actually care, if he were one of the Zuckers who brought us the movie “Airplane!” But he’s not, so I don’t.

Read about reporters sleeping with their sources… Read more

Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com. This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple and insightful. 

1. Which morning shows do you watch, if any? 

Is there any morning show worth a damn? When I want some news I’ll watch MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” but Mika’s Nancy Reagan-esque way of staring at Joe gets a little creepy after a while. Seriously, what’s up with that? However, when I know I’ll have difficulty getting out of bed, I’ll set the TV to turn on to Fox & Friends and hide the remote so I’ll have to physically get out of bed to change the channel to avoid vomiting. So the answer is I watch two morning shows but for different reasons.

2. What is your guilty pleasure website or publication to read? 

I have a couple. Rotten Tomatoes for weekend planning and Huffington Post or The Daily Caller for side-boob. I also accidentally get some news there too, but it’s really all about the slide shows of nip-slips, crotch-shots and generally human train-wreck stories.

3. The Daily Caller‘s Rose Garden interrupter Neil Munro covered a transvestite this week. The husband learned his “wife” was really born a man. From White House coverage to this. Thoughts? 

Is there really that much difference between the two these days? This guy thought he was getting one thing and he got something else, voters thought they were getting a leader and they got Barack Obama. One involves a penis, the other involves a dick; I’ll leave it to you to decide which is which.

Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have special Thanksgiving installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com. This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple and insightful.

1. What are you grateful for this Thanksgiving if anything? 

I hate to embrace the “if anything” part of this, but it’s probably the most accurate. I’m grateful for everything, especially the ability to be an unadulterated smartass here, but that’s not exactly in keeping with the spirit of the season. So I’ll just say shoes. I only have about four pairs of shoes, but could you imagine life without them? That would suck.

Read more

Ask Piranhamous Anything

Today we have another installment of: “Ask Piranhamous Anything.” And we do mean anything. Send your queries to FishbowlDC@mediabistro.com. This isn’t an advice column — Piranhamous doesn’t know what the hell you should do with your life any more than you do — and worse, he doesn’t care. Try to keep your questions short — we want to keep this fun, simple and insightful. 

1. “Special Report with Bret Baier.” How fucking special can something be if it occurs for an hour each and every day? That’s not special. Christmas is special. Your birthday, Dear Piranahmous, is special, because it comes but once a year.

How culturally insensitive! Christmas isn’t special to those who don’t celebrate it, birthdays aren’t special to Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Special Report isn’t special to fans of Al Sharpton or people who watch whatever is on CNN at that time (I don’t know what show it is and ratings indicate no one knows what show it is).  You’re right, the word “special” is overused these days. I’d peg the blame on the DVD. One all the Charlie Brown specials came out of DVD and kids could watch “The Great Pumpkin” in July, it was no longer special. That said, there is no “line” in Nightline, but no one complains about that. And NBC’s Night News barely has any actual “news” some days and airs in the evening, not the night. We could take this to the extreme or we could just accept that it’s a name and not give a shit. I choose the latter.

2. What’s this crap about the “Liberal Media” and how it’s so dominant? Last time I checked, the top cable news channel was Fox News. The top newspaper by circulation was The Wall Street Journal. And the top talk radio hosts were those well-known commies Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. Dominant liberal media my ass.  

Compared to the number of people who watch network news, the amount of viewers who watch Fox could fit in a clown car (I’ll let you make your own joke there). So to say there is no liberal media because they’re the tallest cable news midget is a false comparison. Same goes for the Wall Street Journal. Yes, the editorial page of the Journal leans right, but studies have shown the news pages don’t. And even if they did, who gives a shit? It’s quantity, not content. For every WSJ there’s a Times, Post and whatever other stupid names newspapers give themselves. It’s like a nation winning the most gold medals at the Olympics but losing the overall medal count – when the tally is done liberal newspapers and liberals newscasts outnumber the WSJ and Fox total numbers of organizations and readers/viewers. So you take your attitude and stick it in your butt, mister!

Piranhamous addresses the burning question whether Luke Russert should have asked Nancy Pelosi the age inquiry after the jump… Read more

Cher Sets Her (Surgically Altered) Sights on Chris Hayes

Everyone knows the term “Cougar,” right? The older woman who goes after younger men. It was funny five years ago for about 10 minutes. Now it’s a sitcom and a slogan found on T-shirts at the Goodwill.

But the “OC,” the original cougar, is back on the prowl – and no nerd is safe.

Cher, the great-grandmother, patron saint of the cougar movement, has herself a bit of a crush… on MSNBC’s Chris Hayes (or Rachel Maddow depending how you see him.) Hayes, who is happily married, nerdy, not funny or a lesbian, has no known fetish for plastic nor a known desire to leave his wife for the vapid actress twice his age (he’s 33, she’s 66). So that love will remain unrequited.

Cher has no delusions about her ability to get Hayes, so she’s interested in his “type.” After a good 45 years of dating hippies and bikers, she’s is now interested in the nerdy type. She’s put friends on notice to be on the look out for someone with whom she can avoid raising hell with and discuss economic policy and world affairs.

Given the intelligence level of her tweets… Read more

What’s Meghan McCain Tweeting?

I realize no one outside of people who used to French kiss power outlets as a kid has ever uttered the question in the title, but there are a lot of people who got to first base for the first time with a 120-volt outlet, so I thought I’d look it up for them.

The New York Times, forever with its finger on the pulse of what conservatives are thinking, decided Maggie (MSNBC and The Daily Beast‘s Meghan McCain) would be a good person to include in their column “Republicans’ Advice to Republicans” on how to move forward from the election. Because no one is more respected in conservative circles and the Republican Party than…I’m sorry, I just vomited on my keyboard. Seems I can’t write that sentence with enough sarcasm to hold down breakfast.

Anyway, about being quoted, Megs tweetedRead more

And Now a Word From the Mother of Dave Hughes

Parasite and noted shitty speller “DCRTV Dave,” or Dave Hughes to those of you checking the Megan’s Law registry (I kid. I kid because…he’s kinda scummy), were in for a treat in the “mailbag” today.

“Shirtless in Shirlington” writes, “Hey Dave have you ever or would you ever do DCRTV DAVE TV shirtless like the FBI agent who sent his shirtless pix to the military broad?”

Dave replied, “I did do a shirtless ‘Dave TV’ episode last year, while I was shaving my head. All the “request for sex” notes I got from women (hello Betsy) and men was somewhat overwhelming so I decided to never do that again. Ha ha ha…..”

Here’s a little pro-tip for you, Dave… Read more

When Greta Attacks: ‘WaPo Editorial Board Attends Too Many Inside D.C. Cocktail Parties’

Hell hath no fury like a Greta Van Susteren scorned.

In a recent editorial, WaPo admitted they dropped the ball on the Benghazi murders story. They did it in a roundabout way because admitting failure is simply not how the WaPo rolls.

In their editorial, editors felt the need to take a swipe at Fox News, the only outlet that didn’t involve regurgitating White House talking points. The Post rights, “Fox’s aggressive reporting, though undercut by blustery and often scurrilous commentary, nevertheless seems to have prompted the CIA and Pentagon to provide reporters with their accounts of Sept. 11…” (emphasis added by Greta.)

Greta writes… Read more

<< PREVIOUS PAGENEXT PAGE >>