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Morning Chatter

Quotes of the Day — Home for the Holidays Edition

HOLIDAY JOKESTER: “My favorite 2012 picture of Steve Buttry.” — Mimi Buttry, wife of Steve Buttry. Buttry is the Digital Transformation Editor at Digital First Media. Nice, fancy title, Buttry!

Blogger goes nuts over bourbon balls

“Soaking nuts in Bourbon before I make Bourbon balls and I’m totally going to eat these nuts aren’t I?” — Laurie White, photographer, writer and blogger.

Roll Call researcher gets on wrong Metro car

“Of course I got on the Metro car with the puddle of barf in it.” — Katie Kovach, international affairs and defense researcher for Roll Call.

Important Question to Ponder: “I can’t believe people are tweeting about politics on Christmas Day. Why aren’t you people drunk struggling with electronics?” — InTheseTimes labor reporter Mike Elk.

“Fuckers”: The new way to say Happy Holidays!

“Happy Holidays to you too, fuckers.” — HuffPost‘s Sabrina Siddiqui to BuzzFeed‘s John Stanton, Politico‘s Kate Nocera and TPM‘s Igor Bobic.

Someone had to say it… “U.S. Senator in Deep ‘Crapo’ After DUI Arrest” — El Sharko blogger of Miami. (The Mormon senator from Idaho, Mike Crapo, got a DUI Sunday night. Nice timing!)

BuzzFeed editor gets weepy over gay weddings

“Watching a bunch of gay wedding videos and slowly getting emotional.” — BuzzFeed senior editor Stacy Lambe.

Uh oh. Scratch the drunken driving jokes

“Drunk driver jokes aren’t funny, folks. Especially if someone you love has been taken from you by one. Not a GOP or Dem. thing.” — Paul Brandus of  WestWingReport.

“People, there is nothing funny about drunk driving. Nothing.” — Politico‘s Ben White.

“Good thing people sending gleeful tweets re Crapo DUI have never needed compassion after some stupid/hypocritical human failing.” — Harold Pollack, University of Chicago professor.

Not a happy ending for this journo

“Merry Christmas to the TSA agent who touched my junk.” — Free Beacon‘s  CJCiaramella.

Editor copes with new holiday traditions

“My Presbyterian brain can’t process my Catholic wife’s family’s tradition of unwrapping presents on Christmas Eve.” — National Journal “The Hotline’s” Editor-in-Chief Reid Wilson.

Peanut Gallery du Jour: “I bet Jesus gets super pissed that his birthday is so close to Christmas.” — FBDC and “Full Court Press” co-host Peter Ogburn.

Real HuffPost Headline: “Not having sex? 7 ways to start again”

Oops! Wrong address.

“Someone sent us five pounds of dry aged steak for Christmas. Sent it to the wrong house. Sat on a porch for a week. #tryingnottocry.” — CNN Contributor and RedState‘s Erick Erickson. As our own Rachel Ray (a.k.a. Ogburn) explained it, “aged meat = good, aged meat outside = not good.” Erickson also doubles as an imbibing Santa. He wrote, “The kids are sound asleep. Santa is about to put together the toys as soon as he finishes his bourbon.”

HELP!

“Just drove past a car completely engulfed in flames on the Ohio turnpike. Scary stuff.” — National Journal daily production employee Michelle Bloom.

Dicking Around With John Dickerson

“During Christmas service tonight, my 3rd grade daughter: ‘Mom what’s a virgin?’” — CBS Political Director and Slate‘s John Dickerson.

Um, constituents?

“Good morning Twitter constituents! Everyone have a Merry Christmas, a happy holiday and I hope u all experience the joy the season brings.” — Javonni Brustow, Washington editor of TheDCPundit.com, who transformed himself into a politician as millions of Christians celebrated the birth of Christ.

Holiday gun jokes: too soon?

“20-year-old twins Bob and Jim give Christmas gifts to 14-year-old Jefferson and 12-year-old Emerson: GUNS!” — Conservative blogger and ex-TWTer Robert Stacy McCain.

“I’m told a bearded guy may break into my house tonight. Should I greet him w/ AK-47 or Glock?” — Current’s David Shuster.

“Idea: arm every air traveler.” — Wired senior reporter and third tier Boybander Spencer Ackerman.

Unnecessary Tweet of the Day

“Hostess told me I just booked the last available reservation tonight at our local Chinese restaurant. #christmasmiracle.” — Howeesha Kurtz (a.k.a The Hill‘s gossip columnist Judy Kurtz.)

Down and out journalists…

Sickies…

“Sick two weekends in a row? Merry Christmas to me.” — Roll Call‘s Katie Kovach.

“Can’t say I had hoped to spend Christmas Eve quarantined in a hotel room with the flu. Merry #Flumas!” — Yahoo! NewsOlivier Knox.

Watch out!

“Oh- and for all reporters/embeds who thought I was a dick to be so harsh toward Romney and his staff- read the globe story.#pathetic” — Senior Director QGA Public Affairs and former Senate flack James Manley.

Writers, photog celebrate in own special way

“Merry Christmas to me. I deep cleaned my apartment and bought ‘Pitch Perfect’ for myself on DVD.” — Roll Call‘s Meredith Shiner.

“If having a bottomless mimosa party by yourself is wrong, I don’t want to be right.” — Melissa Golden, editorial photographer.

What passes for Washington humor

“So i ran into @HansNichols at the Safeway, each of us with a grocery list. Q, @pfeiffer44, whose wife wanted him out of the house more?” — Soon to be CNN’s Jake Tapper referring to Bloomberg’s Hans Nichols and White House Spokesman Dan Pfeiffer.

The Name Dropper

“Great holiday party tonight at a great family’s home. Nora O’Donnell, Wolf Blitzer, Gordon Peterson and Barbara Harrison were there too.” — Bruce Johnson, anchor for WUSA TV 9.

Weingarten loses marbles just in time for holiday gatherings

“I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT FIGURE IN AMERICAN LITERATURE WHO HAS A PILE OF SHIT AS HIS TWITTER AVATAR.” — WaPo humor columnist Gene Weingarten on Dec. 22.

Christmas Eve Oopsy!

“White Christmas shaping up for parts of West Virginia, with 15 inches piled up on Snowshow” — @washingtonpost. They, of course, mean Snowshoe Mountain. We’ll give ‘em a break. It was posted at 3:06 a.m.

Baier Vomit: The Holiday Edition

“My kids were concerned Santa could not come to our condo in Fla. so we improvised and made a chimney out of an old box.” — Fox News’ Bret Baier.

 

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