On ABC’s political drama “Scandal” last night, the characters continue scrambling to keep the fact that they rigged a presidential election on the down low.

James Novak, on-again-off-again journalist and husband to the president’s Chief of Staff Cyrus Beene, knows about the conspiracy but isn’t sure Beene is in on it. So he asks and Beene confesses, but only after Beene makes Novak strip naked to prove he’s not wearing a secret mic. One imagines this is what the Kardashians make Kris Jenner do anytime they want a private conversation with their mother.

Subpoenaed by the D.A. (who also knows about the conspiracy), Novak tells Beene he has no choice but to testify on the issue at the Justice Department. So, as any loving gay husband would do, Beene hires a hitman to kill Novak.

In the end, Beene calls the hit off and Novak lies under oath about his knowledge of the conspiracy. The final scene shows them in a church smiling at each other as if none of this ever happened. Til attempted homicide do them part.

Here’s how it would happen in real life… Read more