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Posts Tagged ‘Chris Tucker’

Breaking: Honesty in Craigslist Writing Gigs Ad

We were half tempted to email him and find out who it is. Half.

This guy is right and being totally upfront – he does need writers:

STANDUP JOKE WRITER WANTED (L.A.)
Reply to: gigs-fhssg-1134352021@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-04-22, 6:07AM PDT

Nationally known standup comedian (from The Howard Stern Show & more) seeks joke writer. Send sample of jokes in vein of Def Comedy Jam, Chris Rock, Bernie Mac, Richard Pryor, Chris Tucker. Point of view is black, angry, dirty, even ghetto. Imitate, even parody Eddie Griffin and Paul Mooney.

Send one page of sample jokes. (Your next question is, how do you know I won’t steal them? Answer: because I’m not Carlos Mencia or Robin Williams. I do not steal. Also, you would see me do them on TV and sue me.)

EXAMPLE: Y’all watch UFC – Ultimate Fighting Championship? White folks love that shit. They should call it Ultimate Fighting Caucasians. Brothers hate that shit, cause we already got Ultimate Fighting Championship: its called PRISON. Same thing: they lock yo ass in a cage, some motherfucka beat yo ass to a pulp, then grab yo dick. Oh yeah, there’s some dick grabbing going on in UFC. If you watch UFC, you part fag. Guys in tights, wrestling and grabbing each other, music blasting – that shit’s like a gay nightclub. You call it UFC, I call it West Hollywood.

Saw this movie called Candy Man. Horror movie about a black man going around killing white folks. That’s my kinda movie. I like the premise: 1) he’s black and 2) he kills white folks. Genius. But how come he don’t gotta mask? Friday the 13th: Jason gotta mask. Halloween: Mike Meyer’s gotta mask: Nightmare On Elm Street: Freddy Krueger got a mask. How come the Candy Man ain’t got no mask? ‘Cause white folks think a black man scary enough just being black. What’s next? A movie called: Black Man. What’s he do, stab people? No. Chop people up? No. Hide in the bushes, jump out & do some scary shit? Nope. What’s he do? Just stand there and be black. AHHHHH! I got nightmares.

* Location: L.A.
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation:

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‘Why I Hate Blacks’ Writer Not Sorry: ‘If I’m A Racist Then So Is Sofia Coppola’

kenneth_eng.jpgKenneth Eng, the writer and former NYU student who set off a firestorm over an article entitled “Why I Hate Blacks” published in Asian Week, told Fox News’ John Gibson that he doesn’t regret anything:

GIBSON: You don’t have any regrets about saying something as overtly racist as you hate somebody because they’re black or because they’re white?

ENG: Evidently Sofia Coppola and Quentin Tarantino have nothing against that and neither does Shaquille O’Neal and Chris Tucker. So I have no regrets at all.

The transcript only gets more insane from there:

GIBSON: Why do you hate blacks?

ENG: Well, you know, just to be blunt, 90 percent of them usually walk up to me and call me, you know, like for instance, ching-chong and stuff like that. I mean, I don’t really give a damn, but you know, I mean, after a while it gets pretty damn annoying. And not to mention they get so much media attention. But you know, I mean aside from that, you probably want to know why I call myself the god of the universe as well.

  • ‘Why I Hate Blacks’ Author Defends Column [Fox News]