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Things We Don’t Like

No One Is Impressed by Your April Fools’ Stunt

Of all the groans you heard in the office today, approximately 40% were inspired by Google, which went all-out to develop a different April Fools’ campaign for every single person with a wi-fi connection.

Here’s the best one on a subject close to our hearts: the future of marketing measurement.

Now be honest: did your brand or client have a little stunt to promote?

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WTF? Construction Workers Should Eat a Snickers to Properly Fuel Their Misogynistic Catcalls?

An ad that shows construction workers yelling empowering, kind, pro-equality encouragement at women? What could possibly be bad about that — it’s clever, cute, and progressive, right? Well, this Snickers ad could have been those things, but ends up sending a message that is anything but.

The Australian spot shows builders calling out to women, saying things like: “Wanna hear a dirty word? Gender bias!” and “You know what I’d like to see? A society in which the objectification of women makes way for gender-neutral interaction free from assumptions and expectations.” Pretty amusing.

That is, until the campaign’s tagline pops up: “You’re not you when you’re hungry.”

Wait, what?

So… blue collar workers are inherently sexist, disrespectful brutes who should eat a Snickers so they can go back to properly harrassing and threatening women like they’re meant to? That’s the message we’re getting from this, and we’re not alone. Read more

The 5 Worst PR Stereotypes

what we do

Hell, we can’t even agree what we do.

Okay, raise your hand if during a Thanksgiving dinner, this has happened…

You grow weary, like near clutching the dusty bottle of formerly nice alcohol to what has to be paint thinner now, because you made the mistake of trying to explain what you do for a living. The questions are overbearing, nonsensical, and borderline WTF. Even your own mother can’t figure it out. So, you dig in fighting the good fight, and say the following words we have all said out of frustration:

“I get people on TV.”

Oooooooooooooooooooooooh! The room nods in agreement and you rush for the bathroom, if anything, just for some well-deserved “me time.” And that’s why these ridiculous stereotypes exist.

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New Gmail Extension Allows You to Be Even More OCD Over Pitches

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So last month while we were sleeping, Google released a new Chrome/Gmail extension called Streak that allows you to see when recipients read your outgoing emails.

We’re a little glad that we didn’t hear about it upon release, because the appropriate adjectives used to describe it include “horrifying” and “creepy.”

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Common Yelp Lawsuits May Cause Serious #PRFail

hateyelpIn the land of the free to sue anyone they want and home of the brave lawyers with no scruples to take their money, frivolous lawsuits are no stranger to the U.S. Justice System. Much to the detriment of good legal beagles out there, these lawsuits kill the reputations of so many things.

And now, they may kill Yelp all together.

The crowdsourcing website for reviews, scorn, honesty, and trolls has been in the courts of ‘Merica one too many times. However, these last few cases may have legal experts reconsidering how review websites are beneficial when so many people abuse them.

For example…

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Associated Press Says ‘Over’ and ‘More Than’ Are Now the Same Thing

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Oh no. That scream you just heard came from anyone in your company with a history in journalism, education, copy writing or editing. And it came in response to a decision by The Associated Press to officially declare that “more than” and “over” are now interchangeable.

Let’s review why this is so very, very, very wrong.

But first, a joke!

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UK’s Best-Known Publicist Also a Huge Pervert with a Tiny…Ethical Compass

max-clifford-214x300Max Clifford, the United Kingdom’s most infamous publicist and owner of amazing eyebrows, is doing a great job protecting his own reputation as a huge pervert with a very, very small…sense of ethics.

The hits keep coming from Clifford’s ongoing trial for various and sundry sex offenses. Let’s review the tabloid headlines, shall we? Clifford supposedly:

There’s more, and it’s all incredibly disturbing.

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The GOP Knows What the Kids Are Wearing

Today in Same Old Story news, someone in the Republican Party anticipated the results of this study about changing political alliances among Millennials and got to work making some ads to appeal to that key demographic: Audi-driving early-30′s yuppies battling problems with facial hair.

Like all political ads, these are collections of cue card quips designed to reduce incredibly complex economic issues into simple talking points.

Of course the ad offers no specifics explaining why an easing of regulations on any given industry would lead to more jobs, much less better jobs. Nor does it explain moves to cut short the unemployment benefits earned by all those friends who (allegedly) can’t find work because of the same regulations…as if this guy’s “friends” work in fossil fuels.

The next ad makes the same points:

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Be Aware of These 5 Common PR Mistakes

pr mistakes

We know. It’s a crap shoot.

I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but a recent discussion with a reporter chum of mine reminded me of this one irrefutable truth in the public relations industry — the easy stuff is always the first stuff to screw up. The mistakes, albeit as common as they exist, are committed on every level of the food chain. From intern to inside the corner office, everyone is susceptible to having these aberrations with the press and our clients.

Yet, there they are, scattered bodies lining the streets like a deleted scene from “The Walking Dead.” In an effort to inhibit the PR ninjas in this industry jumping from trees and throwing star shurikens with dazzling accuracy into pools of heaping crap, here are five common mistakes in PR of which to always be aware to avoid.

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Chipotle Comms Clarifies: Fear Not the ‘Guacpocalypse’

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Here’s a case in which a company’s PR might almost regret having to contradict a viral story.

A couple of days ago a post on ThinkProgress highlighted a section of Chipotle’s annual report to investors, which expressed concern over the potential effect of global climate change and subsequent extended droughts on the availability of avocados and other produce.

“…we may choose to temporarily suspend serving menu items, such as guacamole or one or more of our salsas, rather than paying the increased cost.”

The story went viral primarily due to the fact that it provided alternately bored/hungry/angry Americans with yet another excuse to scream at each other online. In other words, it was just another crappy, completely unproductive day in America’s political comment threads, which exist just to prove our theory that the human race might not be worth saving.

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