The golf club you can pee in! Tired of whipping out the short iron when you've had a few too many game-improving brewskies? Not to worry because now there's the Uroclub (which seems to have been around for awhile now). You open the top, insert your whang, and relieve yourself. And the best part is it comes with a handy towel you attach to your belt so no one can see that you're having sex with a golf club peeing.

Uroclub was designed by Dr. Floyd E. Seskin, who is a urologist. Dude, take our advice — develop a fleshlight-like model. It will prevent countless drink-girls from being needlessly harassed by half-drunk, horny old men with sagging libidos. Love them drink girls.

More: "Friday Fun with Carlsberg, and Thoughts on Branding"