Rolling Stone follows Blender's lead on the Britney Spears beat, with a piece by Vanessa Grrigordias, last seen skewering Gawker. Starts off nicely:

In person, Britney is shockingly beautiful--clear skin, ruby lips, a perfectly proportioned twenty-six-year-old porcelain doll with a nasty weave.

Moves into weirdness pretty quickly:

"Fuck you, fuck people, fuck, fuck, fuck," she keeps screaming, her face splotchy and red as she crosses the interminable mall floor, the crowd behind her growing larger and larger.

And then excerpt ends, leaving us hot and bothered, but not enough to get up, drive to the newsstand and give Jann Wenner any money. Big photo gallery, here.