Jamie Lee Curtis takes on the heady topic of parenting in her first column for the Huffington Post -- except it's not really about parenting. It's about Paris.

While swearing up and down that "I am not throwing stones," she proceeds to hurl 'em at Kathy Hilton, saying Paris's mom "should have taught her right from wrong, to help her, to teach her the rules of life."

Sure, Curtis tries to make it look as though she were talking about mothering with a capital "M," asking, "And where did we, the Mothers, get the message that if we abdicate our responsibilities as Mothers, the Universe will do our job for us?"

But it's clear whom Curtis is talking to when she encourages all Mothers (read: Kathy Hilton) to "wake up and smell the denial."

It looks as though Kathy won't have to do that much work, though. Barbara Walters talked to Paris Hilton by phone on Sunday (because that's how the Universe works, apparently), and the heiress told her she's a changed woman.

"I'm not the same person I was," she said. "I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance."

In jail speak, that either means Paris is preparing to put out a rap album with real street cred, or that she's converted to Islam. We can't wait to find out.