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Why Washington D.C. Gossip Sucks

Leading today’s gossip column in The Hill is a double bylined item on filthy rich philanthropist David Rubenstein, who last week compared pandas having sex to members of Congress.

The item is late — the forum where Rubenstein said the entertaining only for Washington comment was Thursday morning at The Atlantic‘s Ideas Forum at the Newseum. But worse than that, the gossip column is trying to use sex in a boring way and then doesn’t even bother to put the word in the headline. So the headline reads: “David Rubenstein: Congress reminds me of pandas.”

The meaning behind Rubenstein’s sexless remarks is that pandas only reproduce for three hours a day one day a year. Which, he says, is the amount of time that Congress works.

Hardly leaves us panting. Insert forced laughter here.

Correction: It’s worse than we thought. The interview with Rubenstein was actually Thursday morning, not Friday as we had it earlier.

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