Not to be outdone by truTV, whose exhaustive guide to criminal castration we linked to yesterday, the LA Times has put together its own comprehensive guide to penis mutilation–in the wake of the story of Garden Grove’s Catherine Kieu Becker, who recently sliced her husband’s penis off and ran it through the garbage disposal. It’s a surprisingly long piece, filled with useful information. For instance, though it was reported that Becker’s victim will likely lose his original penis, doctors can construct a new one from parts of his arm.

If the nerves are connected properly the patient may get erogenous sensations, particularly in the head of the penis. But because the arm does not contain the soft, spongy tissue typical of the penis, the patient cannot get an erection. That problem is overcome by implanting, well after the initial repairs have healed, a prosthetic implant, such as a hydraulic pump. Overall, “it’s a long, complicated, expensive procedure,” Alter said. But when it is finished, the patient can get an erection, have intercourse and climax.

But, the Times cautions, “If the patient is hairy, electrolysis also needs to be performed to remove hair from the penis. That can be done before or after the surgery.”

Good to know.

The real question is whether there’s an private insurance company in California that would actually cover this procedure. Who knows, perhaps the Becker case will be what it takes to finally push through single-payer health care in America.

Previously on FishbowlLA: Catherine Kieu Becker and the History of Criminal Castration