We were expecting a celeb sighting or two since it's Upfront time — the week the networks trot out their overpaid and underfed stars to shill for their supper — but alas, there were no signs of McDreamy or Matthew Fox anywhere. (Thankfully, we didn't see any cavemen either.) Disappointed, we settled in at our regular perch at the bar to survey the suits and check out the regulars when our pal publicity maven Leslie Stevens appeared on the scene. A scheduling snafu left Leslie solo, so she gamely pulled up a stool and chatted up lunchtime chronicler Diane Clehane. The tireless pitchwoman told us she only had time for a quick bite because she was en route to D.C. to attend the launch party of the Onion Express, a joint venture between "America's Finest News Source" — The Onion — and The Washington Post. Tonight's soiree is expected to draw the likes of Christopher Hitchens (just don't get him started talking about religion) and Christopher Buckley as well as "a bunch of politicos." See, there really is life outside of New York.

Here's a rundown on the rest:

Table 1. Glamour's Cindi Leive, Allure's Linda Wells, Playboy's Chris Napolitano and a few folks we didn't recognize having their monthly "editor's lunch."

2. Ben Silverman and guests. The ubiquitous Ms. Stevens is throwing a party for the reality show guru (The Biggest Loser, The Restaurant) at the new karaoke joint Spotlight Live (we hear J.Lo has been by) on Thursday night for the crowd in town for the Upfronts. Sorry, by invite only ...

3. Terry Allen Kramer and a table full of guests. (We're told Mayor Joe Armstrong is not MIA, but simply enjoying a trip across the pond to London. Hurry back!)

4. Norman Pearlstine, sporting a military-looking buzz cut, with two equally close-cropped young gents.

5. Arnold Scassi and Parker Ladd. After witnessing Mr. Ladd take a call at the bar we're amused to report he might be the only adult male in New York City that doesn't own a cell phone.

6. Jim Josephson and the gang.

7. Marilyn Crawford.

8. New York Social Diary's David Patrick Columbia and Alice Mason.

9. Stu Zakim.

10. Terry Allen Kramer's granddaughter (so we're told) and Todd Meister.

11. Esquire's David Granger and a lovely looking woman who bore more than a passing resemblance to Rita Wilson ...

12. Bonnie Timmerman.

14. William Morris LA honcho Jim Wyatt.

15. Tina Brown, who we ambushed in the ladies' room. (So glad to hear you read FishbowlNY!) The author of the much-anticipated The Diana Chronicles, which hits stores soon, says she's game for a Q+A for mediabistro.com's So What Do You Do? column. We're calling your publicist right now ...

16. Stan Masko.

17. NBC's Jonathan Wald.

18. Legendary photog Harry Benson and Quest's Chris Meigher.

19. Jim Friedlich.

20. Freddie Friedman.

21. Lee Gabler and someone named Stu ..

22. Author and social swan Francesa Stanfill, whose pulpy paperback Wakefield Hall is a great beach book for those of you compiling your summer reading list ...

23. We couldn't see ...

24. Nick Rubenstein.

25. Publishing powerhouses Tony Hoyt and Don Welsh.

26. Marshall Cohen with former Time Inc. general counsel, Justice Robert McCarthy.

27. The oh-so-fashionable trio of Michael Kors, Saks' Steve Sadove and Jaqui Lividini.

28. David Adler.

29. Not quite sure ...

30. The cable guy: Barry Frey.

Other faces in the crowd: Our good friend Judy Licht who was sporting a cast on her left arm — wrapped in a chic scarf, of course — the result of an accident on the tennis court. The face of Full Frontal Fashion was lunching with Elizabeth Dewey, ULTRA HD's vice president of programming — and the brains behind the netlet's strangely addictive fashion week coverage.

Please send comments and corrections to diane AT mediabistro DOT com & lunch at mediabistro DOT com.