Finally, there will be an authoritative guidebook for women who want to learn how to land a wealthy husband from a scary-faced lady they've seen on a Bravo TV show! Patti Stanger, whose "Millionaire's Club" matchmaking agency renders every Gender Studies major's senior thesis about how 'dating' is a form of socially-sanctioned prostitution redundant, will co-write 'Become Your Own Matchmaker: 10 Easy Steps To Attracting Your Perfect Mate.' World rights to the book sold to Atria at auction for six figures.

The deal report reveals that Patti will share "her best tried and true advice to help women of all ages and backgrounds learn to become their own matchmaker and find the man of their dreams." Presumably she will elaborate on her "10 Dating commandments for women," which include hot tips like "Thou shalt let the man take the lead and shalt avoid bringing personal baggage to the table" and "do not offer to outright pay for something: once a woman touches money/credit card in front of a male she becomes masculine energy,” which is undesirable."

Hear that, ladies? Stop castrating him by offering to pay for things! This is going to be the best book ever.

Well! Besides "Real Housewife of New York" Bethenny Frankel's upcoming 'Naturally Thin,' the first of a reported six-figure three-book deal, that is!