We've talked enough about green stuff over the past couple of days. What about the other colors? Or, rather, all the colors, criss-crossed and all patterned-up. These are the things on the minds of Jim Mather and the National Archives of Scotland who are currently in the process of putting together a national registry of tartans. Tired of seeing them everywhere from football teams to Scrooge McDuck, a bill has been sent to parliament looking to put some funds toward getting all the real tartans sorted out from all this miscellaneous fakery you see at things like highlands festivals in rural Iowa (this writer is allowed to make rural Iowa jokes because he lived in rural Iowa for two years). With luck, order will be restored once the bill is passed into law and everyone's lives can get back to normal. At least until the next Loch Ness attack (this writer isn't Scottish, nor has he ever been to Scotland, so that joke was completely uncalled for and a piece of disgusting nation-slandering). Here's some:

Described by the MSP as a "trademark" for Scotland, he said a register would preserve the thousands of designs currently in existence. "It is vital that we keep Scotland as the mecca for tartan worldwide and this national register will go a long way in helping to achieve this," he said.

Details of how the project will work have still to be finalised, although it is thought a panel will be formed and will register only official tartans.

The international tartan index of the Crieff-based Scottish Tartans Authority (STA) is seen as the "register in waiting", with over 4,500 tartans listed, although a smaller list also exists in Dunkeld.

Although registration would not be compulsory, it is seen as a way of ensuring tartans are unique and authentic.