Anyone on Roll Call Senate reporter David Drucker‘s morning email list knows that his email subject lines are captivating draws for his stories no matter how wonky the subject. Maybe Roll Call editorial management ought to take a break from the bland headline writer and let Drucker take a shot at it.

After all, we could be enjoying variations of these and it’s a shame we’re not:

1. Rhinestone Cowboy

2. Mama Said Knock You Out

3. Baby It’s Cold Outside

4. Harry Kerry

5. Trading Places

6. Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

7. Mucho Macho Man

8. No Soup for You

9. Slow Burn

10. 50 First Dates