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A Lot of Media Companies Posted Record Web Traffic Last Month

As of right now, we know of four media companies that posted record web traffic numbers last month. This is entirely due to the Boston Marathon bombings. FishbowlNY saw traffic spike too!

See, when big news happens, people want to read about it. So they hop on the information superhighway and cruise for sites. It’s not as sexy as it sounds. Then, after the traffic slows down, media companies want to brag about their traffic, as if they were the only one who saw increases. But they weren’t! Companies can be so silly.

Sometimes web traffic is worth noting; most times it isn’t. Because we’ve been getting flooded with companies boasting about their numbers last month, we created a generic, blanket statement congratulating them. If you’re a media reporter, feel free to copy this and use it.

Hello web reader. Last month, [MEDIA COMPANY] posted record web traffic numbers. [MEDIA COMPANY'S WEBSITE] received [VERY HIGH NUMBER] unique visitors and [ANOTHER VERY HIGH NUMBER] page views, which represented a [VERY HIGH PERCENTAGE HOPEFULLY BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE THIS IS RELATIVE] increase over last April.

[IMPORTANT PERSON AT MEDIA COMPANY] said that the traffic was a result of [SOMETHING VAGUE BUT SORT OF INTERESTING SOUNDING]. “[BORING QUOTE FROM IMPORTANT PERSON THAT NO ONE WILL READ].”

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