A&E is one great reasons why people think Americans are insane (not to sell you short, TLC). We have a network of  shows like Billy the Exterminator. Gone are the days of  Lizzie McGuire; our kids are watching hoarders cry as they throw away soggy coasters and 10-year-old receipts. And, of course, the latest WTF A&E news: tonight is the season two premiere of Duck Dynasty.

As far as I can gather, this “reality show” is about three generations of bayou duck hunters. They run a business called Duck Commander (high-end duck calls, decoys, etc.) that is now a multimillion-dollar “sporting empire.” They race lawn mowers and wear camo tuxedos.

To launch the new Duck Dynasty season, R/GA New York and A&E have created a social media duck hunt dubbed “Duck Call.” Users follow one or all of the six Twitter handles associated with the show. Then, when one of those handles tweets #QUACK or a little duck says #QUACK on the show, the first person to tweet back with #DUCK wins. They get Duck Dynasty swag or a $100  e-gift card. Fingers crossed for the latter, unless you’re stoked on bandanas and bearded Chia pets.

During tonight’s premiere, a social response lab will also produce customized Duck Dynasty imagery featuring users (#JointheDynasty). Finally, you too can live the true American Dream. It’s all about the pursuit of happiness, and blowing up beaver dams. Feel free to join the “dynasty” here.

What makes a great story? Start with an old person fondly rehashing their adventures, then try having that story acted out by adorable little kids. Throw in “sky jumping,” some honest American values, a couple fake moustaches, and you’ve got Firstborn’s new campaign for Fidelity Investments.

“You can sit and do nothing,” Marian Barnett–the 91-year-old skydiver in question–says. “But if I sit and do nothing, I’m bored. I’d rather save my money and jump out of an airplane again. That’s more fun.”

Marian is the first subject in Fidelity’s “Saving Stories,” a series that aims to show people investing is doable and rewarding. In turn, the Saving Stories are part of Fidelity’s Personal Economy center, a site that helps people take control of their finances.

Though the video runs a little long (do you have 5 minutes for an ad?), Firstborn perfected the buzzword of the season: storytelling. Marian’s spunky spirit, the creative imagery associated with her tale, and its ultimate happy ending/moral make me want to start a jar of nickels. I’ll be curious to see how Firstborn follows up with their next Saving Story.

Credits after the jump.

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For a company that specializes in mundane activities like box building and document copying, FedEx made some jazzy choices in their latest campaign. To sell FedEx as a company providing “solutions that matter,” BBDO NY worked with Caviar and Haus to show businesses what they won’t be getting.

It all takes place in the Jingle Studio Facebook app, where companies can create the cheesiest of jingles. They pick a band–possibilities include mariachi feat. singing cactus, hip hop ensemble, glam metal band. Then, using text-to-singing technology, they can insert their company name and info into an ad reminiscent of what you might see on a tiny town’s television channel (read: tacky).  Then, of course, the jingle-maker shares their fresh video along with its tacked-on FedEx promotion.

Maybe it’s just me, but the example video is going to be stuck in my head for the entire day. “Let’s fiesta like zillionaires!!” If FedEx’s strategy backfires and inspires a rise in bizarre singing ads, a ton of 90’s bands are going to have lucrative side-jobs.

Credits after the jump.

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I’ve seen Screaming Mimi’s on Lafayette and always thought it was a terrifying costume shop. However, turns out I misjudged a store by its sign font, because Screaming Mimi’s is in fact a “vintage mecca.” And, it’s cool enough to collaborate with Target on their Halloween campaign.

Laura Wills, owner of the eclectic boutique, played stylist for Target’s 2012 costume look book. The resulting behind the scenes video–currently running on Target’s Halloween page built by AKQA-SF–is kind of endearing. Wills seems to truly believe in the magic of Halloween, and also appreciates the DIY nature of Target’s mix-and-match ensembles. The collection, “…allows people to create something absolutely original.”

But chances are, you’ll see 10 other people in the street wearing your same “80s karaoke singer” costume, and if you’re drunk enough you’ll take a photo with them or punch them in the face for copycatting. Either way, everyone is probably better off actually DIYing. Forgo a pointy hat or set of neon bracelets and be a pair of headphones! Be Psy and dance Gangnam Style everywhere. Oppa!

Step aside, Saatchi LA and your Toyota “Swagger Waggon,” Innocean has created its own sect of hip, kid-toting, SUV-driving couples called, wait for it, “alternadults.”   The agency’s latest spot for Hyundai’s 2013 Santa Fe Sport  visualizes a set of epic parents indulging in a time-old tradition: as their kids dig into a mini mountain of ice cream or find their feet after paragliding, their parents say, “Don’t tell Mom” or “Don’t tell Dad.”

“The best stories you’ll ever tell start with ‘don’t tell,’” the wise-old-man voiceover says. It’s a bold statement, especially in the Internet age. (Facebook pics or it didn’t happen.) But apparently–according to the Innocean camp–a subsection of Gen X parents, defined as “Alternadults,” have “grown up, but don’t necessarily want to grow old.” Since growing old means making embarrassing Facebook posts, they’re not doing that. Instead, they’re making mischief, even when their mild rule breaking includes the kids and a Hyundai Sante Fe.

Ridiculousness of the term “alternadults” aside, I don’t think a good story has ever really started with “don’t tell.” Cool parents don’t care about keeping their black diamond runs and toilet papering a secret, and outside the family it’s a phrase that prefaces salacious gossip and abusive situations. I’d rather see an ad in which, after a crazy day of father-son mountain biking, dad says, “Tell mom about the log you jumped over today.” Alterna-mom would be stoked.

Check out the credits after the jump.

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Initially, Venables Bell & Partners’ latest campaign for Conoco gas reminds me of Yahoo’s giant “Purple People Greeter” mailbox. Both are sassy talking objects that attract dogs, love hugs and give gifts. But while Yahoo’s chubby mailbox handed out an assortment of presents to New Yorkers (a dog bone, Yankee tickets, a giant lollipop), Conoco’s vocal car is filled with outdoor gear, designed to delight nature-loving Denverites.

“The Great Conoco Fill-Up” is specifically tailored to the adventurous people of Colorado’s capitol, inspiring them to “fill up and get out there.” After the talking car–which is, what else, an Audi–catches passersby off guard, they’re told to take their pick from ski boots and water bottles, a kayak or a mountain bike. Of course they’re stoked, and will go home to tell their family and friends about their good fortune. But will they start choosing Conoco gas? Is one good deed enough to get a brand some new, dedicated users? Credits after the jump.

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In McCann Erickson Barcelona’s latest ad for Pokerstars, Rafael Nadal pretends to be a Mallorca golf club receptionist, wearing adorable orange glasses and flashing his white teeth every three seconds. It’s a bluffing lesson, one part of his Pokerstars “training course.” Hidden cameras film unsuspecting golfers as they approach the counter for a fresh set of spikes or some clubs. Stuttering and giggling ensues.

An old Brit is the best character: he slyly asks Nadal, “So are you having a rest?” (Nadal’s currently struggling with an injured knee.) I also appreciate the woman who asked to see Nadal’s biceps. For those of you who have yet to experience heart palpitations at the sight of Rafa, I direct you to Shakira’s video for “Gypsy,” in which he is topless and sweaty.

He’s hot, but the ad only works because he’s got something resembling a sense of humor. The last customer interaction: “Do you play tennis?” “Sometimes.”

In a quick game of word association, let’s say I throw out the word “rock.” While a few people will get geological in response, the rest will jump towards music: “and roll,” they’ll say. Or maybe “Mick Jagger,” “Jack Black.”

No one will say “baby human,” but that’s the image DLV BBDO chose to promote the ultimate rock publication, Rolling Stone Magazine.  In the 30-second spot, a black and white pencil animation morphs between images of rock n’ roll and infantile behavior. “You came into the world with a scream,” the gruff voiceover says. “You didn’t feel guilty when you defaced the walls of your house…You were a star, and everyone worshipped you. What has happened to you?” Zoom out to a man staring blankly at his computer screen in a uniform cubicle.

It’s an unexpected angle, which makes it all the more rock-worthy. Screw images of Pink Floyd or some youth shaking his hips onstage; let’s appreciate rock for the feelings it’s inspired from birth. Rock has always encouraged giving in to instinct and indulging uncontrollable, selfish desire. It may be a weird concept (“Be a baby; rock on!”), but DLV BBDO’s daring creative choices (hello, mother’s milk) make immaturity look like the best form of development. Imagine chilling in your crib, reading the latest Bob Dylan interview, free of responsibility.

As we mentioned last week, on Friday September 21, Leo Burnett celebrated International Peace Day by obliterating hate. They invited people to tweet their hate @missileforpeace, then loaded the resulting hard drive into the 20-foot long missile. They launched it in a desolate (dare we say peaceful) field in Cambridge.

Seems like there are more constructive possibilities when promoting International Peace Day (food drive? debate?), but Leo Burnett’s symbolic act did do its intended duty. The missile launched and then exploded, fragmenting hateful tweets high amongst the clouds. The resulting video is rather pretty.

Though big brands and startups sometimes have trouble understanding one another, PepsiCo is reaching across the aisle to support fledgling businesses. In 2010, they launched PepsiCo10, a digital startup incubator program. Already a successful experiment in the US and UK, today it expands to Brazil.

To start their program, PepsiCo10 is calling for submissions from startups and university students across Brazil. They’ll be hosting a reception and panel at Social Media Week Sao Paolo (fingers crossed for rum and Pepsi), then accepting applications on Facebook through Oct. 27. Winners get an all-expense paid trip to NYC to work with PepsiCo brand marketers and “U.S. based digital influencers,” which is worryingly vague. However, in 2013, winners also get to partner with various PepsiCo brands, which seems to be a win-win. Startups/students get experience, visibility, and the chance to prove themselves to investors, while PepsiCo harnesses fresh creativity.

Cristiana Gomes, director of HR at PepsiCo Brazil, says in a statement, “Along with the search for new ideas, PepsiCo10 supports our strategy of attracting and retaining top talent by giving us a chance to communicate with some of the brightest and most creative young Brazilian minds.” You can check out a PepsiCo infographic here that talks innovating beyond Silicon Valley and emerging tech in emerging markets ala Brazil.