Arguably the best part of the ongoing tech wars is just how catty all of these Silicon Valley giants are when it comes to their competitors. While a Microsoft spokesperson allegedly told Mashable that the above spot was “not meant for public consumption,” it’s an obvious continuation of the brand’s “Don’t Get Scroogled” campaign, which started running late last year. Perhaps all they needed to add before it went live was a Microsoft logo. Oh, and if you’ll notice after the jump, it’s a direct parody of Chrome’s “Now Everywhere” spot from early March.

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Well, you asked for it, and we’re giving it to you. To follow up on our Porsche review post from yesterday, we’ve heard from very reliable sources that the pitch for the automaker’s North American creative account is indeed down to two: Chicago-based incumbent Cramer-Krasselt and, you guessed it, Minneapolis-based Olson. Consider us surprised as we thought everyone’s darling agency Droga5 would be in the mix, but not so. Anyhow, we’re hearing Porsche’s decision is imminent and that the brand is getting more digitally focused in terms of its creative efforts. The other two finalists as mentioned before were CP+B Miami and McKinney. We’ll keep you posted.

Pim de Koel is not the most interesting man in the world, but he may be interesting enough to make you want to travel to Holland. Koel headlines a new Dutch travel spot, “Holland. The Original Cool.” that was put together in a joint effort from Mustache, the Netherlands Board of Tourism and Conventions, KLM Airlines, Schiphol Airport, and Amsterdam Marketing. The commercial focuses on how Holland is fun, quirky, pretty, forward-thinking, artsy, and generally better than wherever you live. They also like to say Van Gogh in thick accents. I can’t argue against their sophisticated European sensibilities, Holland is cool. You should visit there just so you can meet the one old, bitter Dutch dude who doesn’t speak English. And there’s no need for weed jokes or Red Light District quips, because Pim keeps it clean. The pitch has worked thus far, racking up close to 125,000 views in only one day (see how it’s blown up this week on Reddit after the jump).

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Since tipsters were scolding us for not talking about it much, here’s a quick update on Porsche North America’s creative review, which was launched five months ago. From what we’ve been told, it’s basically down to a few finalists and sources familiar with the matter confirm that Chicago-based incumbent Cramer-Krasselt is still very much in the mix.

We’re hearing that C-K, which has handled the account since 2007, is now battling it out with just a couple of the other finalists reported by Adweek in February including Droga5, CP+B Miami, Olson (when reached, wouldn’t comment, referred inquiries to client) and McKinney. Yep, it’s still a crapshoot, but we hope you’re appeased for now. As has been reported, you probably shouldn’t expect anything until end of month/early next, but who thinks C-K will retain? Feel free to weigh in.

As you may know, Oklahoma City Thunder All-Star Russell Westbrook suffered a season-ending knee injury in the first round of NBA Playoffs. Instead of flying in for dunks, Westbrook has watched the rest of his team’s games with crutches by his side. And even though the Thunder are one game away from playoff elimination, Champs and Jordan brand have decided to launch a new Westbrook campaign, created by L.A.-based agency Zambezi and filmed pre-injury, as perhaps a sign of solidarity for their hobbled endorser. The above commercial will run for the next few weeks during the Conference Finals.

In the spot, a high school basketball player transforms into Westbrook on and off the court when he gets new Jordan gear from Champs Sports. The on-the-court part is great, but the off-the-court part may not be a good look for a high school kid – or any human being with two spoonfuls of self-respect, for that matter – since Westbrook is the guy who wears this in his free time. Regardless of the fashion lampooning or the fake glasses he wore regularly to post-game press conferences, the decision to keep the campaign alive after Westbrook’s injury is a cool gesture from the brands involved. Be on the lookout for more Westbrook spots as we head into the never-ending stretch of NBA Playoff basketball that precedes summer.

And this, friends, is how an unlikely bond on the Twitters begins. Last Friday, digital agency Resource, which houses offices in Columbus, Cincinnati, Chicago, etc., decided to continue its habit of engaging/baiting Twitter celebs. Not sure Shawn Ries is quite a “celeb” per se, but the guy’s been a staff writer on Family Guy for a couple of years, so that at least says something. Anyhow, Resource, which handles all digital properties for the “It’s not delivery” pizza brand, DiGiorno, decided to strike up a Twitter convo, and above and below, you can see how the chat evolves from snippy to sappy in no time (and now, we’ve been told Ries follows DiGiorno..aww). Think we all learned something today, though we’re not sure what yet. You can check out larger, squint-free image after the jump…

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Audi has been busy lately, pumping out ads for their newest cars in sponsorship deals with Iron Man while simultaneously pitting past and present versions of Spock against each other. The automaker seems to be at it again, now with longtime agency Venables Bell & Partners, for a 60-second spot that traces back to the origin of the company. Retro footage of Audi’s founder, August Horch, and old-school automobiles plays for most of the spot, set to narration of the children’s poem It Couldn’t Be Done, written by Edgar Albert Guest. I guess Dr. Suess was busy.

By design, most of the commercial feels like it belongs to pre-1980, but the dissonance of the kid’s poem and the speeding-car shots strikes a cool chord. While previous car spots may be clever or topical when full of movie stars, this one stands out in a good way. It’s smooth and engaging, presumably, like a ride in a new Audi. Credits and a couple of :15 second spots after the jump.

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On Thursday, NBC’s long-running U.S. version of The Office will celebrate its series finale after nine seasons on air, the last three of which everyone would like to pretend never happened because they were pretty boring and shitty.

The end of The Office also means the end of free product placement for Dunder Mifflin, the fictional-turned-real paper company licensed from Comcast by Staples two years ago to sell under the latter’s Quill brand. What might have seemed like a clever business venture at the time is now looking a bit silly as, with no more episodes of The Office on the horizon, Dunder Mifflin’s charm as a gag gift is fading quickly. Soon (as in probably about a year a so), if someone gets you a ream of Dunder-Mifflin paper, you will not laugh knowingly at the brand, thus depreciating the only value it offers. Instead, you will marvel at the fact that a friend got you a ream of paper as a gift, and likely consider them a total asshole.

Hopefully, Staples will put Dunder Mifflin out of its misery faster than NBC did with The Office, but in the meantime, we’re still getting spots produced by LA-based crowdsourcers Tongal that are even worse than the last season of the show they’re based on. Luckily for America, the above spot is only running during the series finale’s telecast in five Dunder Mifflin “branch” markets (Scranton, Utica, Akron, Albany and Syracuse), so you would most likely be spared if you hadn’t visited AgencySpy today. Sorry about that, but hey, at least we get Steve Carell back for the two-hour finale on Thursday, right?

“Jenny and the Chicken,” a Mash+Studio slideshow illustrated by Danny Mcclain, is one of those metaphorical stories that lets you know it’s metaphorical halfway through the narrative. A boy named Brand wants to befriend a a girl named Jenny, but he can’t figure out how to make her like him. He tries all of the usual friendly activities, like connecting on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc., but Jenny doesn’t seem interested in a guy who talks about himself all the time. Remember, his name is Brand. Get it?

This type of wink-wink story is typically not as clever as its creators think it is. Anthropomorphic chickens aside, engaging with consumers effectively is a lot more complicated than showing how a brand sees the world. I’m not sure who Mash plans to target with this slideshow, which is partly why it feels disjointed, but unless they start teaching brand equity to second graders, you might want to turn the page.

DraftFCB Chicago has invoked the cuteness theory for their latest Del Monte Foods work, which suggests that people will always respond positively to cats or babies. The Facebook campaign lets users personalize a digital cat avatar with pet photos and create a jingle. Aside from the obvious cooing and awwing, those who play along could win a $100 daily prize or a $10,000 grand prize. I can almost hear the creaky bones of cat ladies crunching as they try to get up from their rocking chairs and walk to their computers without stepping on one of their 47 cats.

The app has been so successful thus far, according to echoes from the Chicago office, that the agency’s needed to add more servers to accommodate the traffic. That means cat ladies are probably making 47 entries for each of their kittens, giving them more chances to win and less chances to ever reclaim a normal life that involves other human beings.

Credits after the jump.

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