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Friday, Apr 08
Drinking? At the Press Club?
The panel will be rebroadcast tonight on C-SPAN2 at 8 p.m., so this is his report and your guide to watching: Can I begin by asking if I'm the only one who thinks about the evil big boss from The Legend Of Zelda when I hear the name "Gannon"? And wonders if that perhaps has something to do with why Guckert chose "Gannon" as his alias? Maybe that's just me. Anyway, on to business: NATL PRESS CLUB "WHO IS A JOURNALIST" PANEL DRINKING GAME Take a drink when: * You arrive very late. * The guard at the door comments on how much laundry you have in your backpack. * You slowly realize that you have unintentionally arrived looking like every mainstream journalist's idea of a blogger. * Every panelist is wearing a different bright primary color so that they look like a children's-book picture of a rainbow. * One of the panelists scares the crap out of you because he looks like * Ana Marie Cox asks "Who here does not consider themselves a journalist?" and you are the ONLY ONE IN THE ROOM WHO RAISES THEIR HAND. (bonus drinks for consequent dirty looks from Real Journalists.) * Every panelist is introduced with a long and well-elocuted list of credentials, except Jeff "The Boss From Zelda" Gannon who is announced as "I dont think he needs any introduction." * Gannon claims "no one is safe" after what happened to him. * Gannon blames other journalists for his predicament. * Gannon blames "DNC refugees" for his predicament. * Gannon blames bloggers for his predicament. (MEGA BONUS DRINKS when he singles you out, as in: "Bloggers--even though they DO raise their hands about not considering themselves journalists--are EVIL" [or similar]) * Yglesias and Cox get into a hilarious giant shouting match with Jeff Gannon that may or may not go like this: JG: What I found so amazing about Armstrong Williams is that in order for this administration to get a fair hearing on No Child Left Behind, it actually had to pay someone to say it. * Especial mega drinks when Gannon says "Ana Ana Ana". * More drinks when everyone pretends the panel isn't actually entirely about Jeff Gannon. * Garrett Graff says: "Jeff, people didn't attack you because they disagreed with your question. They attacked you because they thought your journalism was poor." * Gannon says he's going to "get onto Garrett." (Garrett should take several really stiff drinks here and then HIDE.) * The panel somehow spends twenty minutes seriously discussing what would happen if the White House Briefing Room were stormed by a horde of frothy-mouthed t-shirt wearing bloggers. (Ana-Marie says it would be "awesome," probably just to piss off Gannon.) * Ana-Marie Cox somehow consistently says insightful things, like "Real journalists don't go to the White House Briefing Room because they know it's a JOKE." * Everyone in the room perpetually dances around the essentially irrelevant and navel-gazing nature of the entire thing. * Four-fifths of the room leaves when questions are opened to the audience. * MORE BONUS DRINKS: As you leave, Jeff Gannon gives you dirty looks for being one of the bloggy crowd that destroyed his career. * THE MOST DRINKS: Everyone in the room realizes they've just wasted 90 minutes of their life. Email This Post |
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